Lost love
by deathnotelover12
Summary: Roxas is a perfect child; Good grades, nice attitude, just a great kid all around. So when he falls for a redheaded boy, his life turns upside down. His parents hate gays. How is he going to tell them? Roxas' life just keeps getting worse. YAOI!
1. Life turns on you

**A/N I know, another story. Why can't I focus on just one story? I have no idea. But it's only one more, and I only have one other story that's not already complete. This one has been on my mind a lot. Sitting in my story folder in my computer, with only a title to it. I've noticed that I've been doing a lot of Akuroku lately..but I like Soriku too, but haven't thought of anything that would be good for them! I'm going to think of a story to go for them after I complete the story I have running and get a good distance in this one. I go into the declaimer, THIS IS A YAOI, IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, GET YOUR A** OFF MY STORY! I don't need you flamers burning up my stories. I laugh at flamers really. They amuse me, trying to say crap about gay or lesbian people. I love those kind of people, they inspire me! Anyone who isn't afraid to love the person they wanna love gets props from me. Love 'em to death! :3 So when people try to say something bad about a person like that, I really pity that poor loser that has nothing better to do then make fun of people that are better then them in every way. ANYWAYS I own nothing but the plot and all characters that you can recognize from somewhere famous, aren't mine. I don't think I'll put any OC's in here. But I felt like putting it out there. X3 So, I'm gonna put this a Teen, and rate it up if any thing changes. Love you all and hope that you like this!**

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><p>"Axel.." The pants and breathes of the couple could be heard behind the closed door. They had little clue that there were people on the other side, listening, waiting till they could go right on in and separate the pair. Said people just happened to be the parents of one of the people in that room. Their son, Roxas, had been hiding something from his parents. Something big. You see, Roxas had thought his parents would be gone on a trip and wouldn't be back for weeks. He had not planed on them coming back to grab some car keys and maybe a couple other items. So when his 'secret' had come to his window, he didn't take a second thought about letting his secret in his room. Surely, if he'd known, he would have told his secret to wait outside for a moments notice. None the less, he let him in, and his parents walked back in the house.<p>

The clueless adults walked into the kitchen and snatched up their keys, hearing a strange noise coming from their beloved sons room. Shocked and overly worried, they rushed up the stairs, coming to a halt at said sons room. Their image of Roxas being the perfect, obedient, loving little son, was shattered and stained. They had never thought anything bad about him, never once. He was excellent in school and always came home showing good grades. They bragged about that fact quite often. Roxas was the nicest and most loveable son you could ask for. Not asking why you wanted him to go fetch what ever it was you wanted. He never had any of the 'teen' troubles that their friends always talked about their child having. They thought Roxas was the most innocent child on the block. Never really hanging around any people that might try to soil that innocence. Except when a certain lanky redhead showed up at Mr and Mrs. Strife's door. The redhead looked like he just got out of juvie. Tattoos under his eyes. Wild, blood red hair. Messy, absurd looking, clothing. A smile that would put Satan's to shame. Utterly horrid. So when Roxas said that this..Axel, was his friend, they were completely shocked! Why would their perfect little boy be associating with something like him! They backed off, still keeping a close eye on this Axel fellow. As they got to know him better, he turned out to be a fine gentlemen. Always being nice to them, complementing Mrs. Strife's cooking, complementing Mr. Strife's choice in cars, which was better then great in Mr. Strife's book. They can't believe that they come back from just barely leaving the block, to find...this! Mr. Strife clenched his fist, ready to break the nearest object. He trusted that little bastard! He trusted him! He even let him touch his car and help him work on it. This was betrayal on the highest level. Mrs. Strife was also betrayed, but in a different way. She had trusted him to be around her son. She trusted him to hang out and sleep over with her son. She had always seen slight hints in the redhead's actions, but never even _thought_ that this would happen! She saw the way Axel looked at Roxas like he was holding something back. And the way Axel would be so close to Roxas, even brush against the blond when they sat around. She was so stupid not to see what was happening right before her eyes!

" I'm going to kill him. I'm gonna kill him, then lock my son up in a cage. How could we let this happen! I thought Roxas was a good son, I thought he knew better, I thought he was pure! Now..now he's...he's..sin. I want him out of my house, out of my sight, and out of my life! I can't stand to even look at the boy now or ever more!" The man ranted, keeping his voice down, as if he didn't want what was happening in the room they were standing next to to stop. Like hell if he cared! He just wanted that little..thing..he used to call a son out of his house and out of his sight.

" My baby boy. My poor, poor baby. What did I do wrong? I thought I raised him right. I thought that he wouldn't disgrace our whole family. I can't believe that he's lived with us when he was..sin." Mrs. Strife cried, also trying to be quiet. Her life was shattering around her head as she leaned on the wall for dear life. The couple in the room sounded to be finishing up, still none the wiser that the two parents that where having a mental break down right outside the door.

In the room, Roxas kissed his boyfriend goodnight. Loving when Axel made it last for a couple seconds more before waving good bye and leaving with the moonlight shining off his vibrant red hair.

" Love you Roxy!" He yelled at the blond over his shoulder, giving him a bright smile that made said blond want to melt into the ground.

" Love you too Axe. And don't call me Roxy!" He laughed, knowing that the redhead had no intention to stop calling him by his nickname. He secretly loved the name, even though it was embarrassing to the blond. Roxas shut the window lightly, smiling to himself. It was a good night so far. After looking up at the moon for a bref second, he slipped away from the window and began searching for his lost pants. Minutes of hopelessly playing a one-sided game of hide-in-seek with his pants, he finally found them and sipped them on, his stomach growling in hunger. With a yawn, he went to open his door, surprised at the sight behind it. There stood his parents. Shocked and angered. His father looked ready to kill and his mother looked on the verge of hysteria.

" OUT! I want your gay, good for nothing, faggot ass out of _my_ house right now! You little bastard! How could you do something that disgusting in my own home! God, I'm going to have to cleanse that room now thanks to you! Fucking faggot!" His dad wasted no time screaming his head off. Roxas was sad, surprised, angry, scared..How could his own dad say something that cruel and mean to his face like that? He backed up a step, almost loosing his footing. Tears formed in his eyes as he looked to his mother for support, comfort, anything! She of all people would be the one to stand up for him..right?

" I agree with your father. It would be best for everyone if you just leave. I think you've disgraced our family enough already." Her words struck his heart to the core. What? W-Why? Why would they do something like this! He was going to tell them when they returned home. He finally worked up the courage to tell them flat out that he loved Axel. And _this_ is how they are going to treat him? Their own son? After all the years he spent trying to please them, all the years that he worked so hard to try to make them smile and brag about what a perfect child he was. All he did was like one guy, that he tried not to like, but just couldn't help himself and gave into his feelings. They turn their backs on him now, when he needs them most, just because of who he decides to love. Just because he couldn't be like normal boys and like girls. Because he chose to love someone of the same gender. Suddenly the parents that he could always count on, grew coldhearted and hated him, for his choice in love. No matter how hard the blond tried, he couldn't stop his tears from flowing. His father looked at him in disgust as he fell to the ground.

" I want you out of my house before first thing in the morning. Never come back." With that his dad turned down the hall, leaving Roxas and his mother. Roxas got on his knees, inching towards his beloved mother, his only comfort in hard times.

" Please, mom, don't make me leave! D-Don't turn your back on me too. Don't leave me alone. Don't hate me too!" Roxas plead, sobbing harder, reaching out for his mom. His heart was turning in his chest, breaking. Crumbling more and more with each second.

" I'm sorry, but I have no choice. You have committed a huge sin, and I can not forgive you for that. You..gay." She turned and started down the same hall his dad had just left down. His heart was wretched out of his chest at his mother's words. The woman who brought him into this life, took care of him for the past sixteen years didn't even spare a second glance as she left her only son.

" MOM, please don't go! Please, I'll do anything! Just don't leave me!" He screamed after her, trying to do anything to change her mind. Said woman looked over her shoulder at her son.

" No. Leave. Now." She spoke with a emotionless tone, her face showing a empty shell of what he knew his mother to be. Suddenly Roxas didn't feel anymore sadness as his last tears fell from his chin, anger took over his heart. Hatred and rage clouded his emotion. He got off the floor and just stood there for a he went back into his room, slamming the door with all his strength. Stomping across his room and throwing open his closet door, almost knocking it off it's hinges. Not that he cared anymore. After finding his bag, he threw that on the bed, followed by most of his clothes and different things he would need. After packing away most of his items, he zipped the over flowing bag closed, taking another look around the almost bare room for any last minute items. There, shining in the moonlight, was a single picture frame. Roxas walked over to it, genitally picking it up, looking at the faces frozen in time. Him, his mom, and his father were all smiling happily. Roxas had icing all over his face, laughing. His father did also. They just had a cake fight at his birthday party. They had a great time as a family. Roxas let a small smile slip onto his face, before it fell and all the anger and hate came back full force. With a growl, he launched the frame at his door, watching as it shattered into small pieces.

" Just like what you did to my heart, hn ma." He said bitterly and opened his window, throwing the bag out, Roxas following after it. This is going to be a long night for the poor blond.

0-0-0-0

It was the day after I saw Roxas late at night to show him how much I really do love him. Since his parents are out for a couple weeks, we'll get to see each other a lot more. We've done this before when his parents went out for a while. I always came back first thing in the morning to give him a little kiss and maybe go out some where to get something to eat or just hang out with him. It was a nice warm morning out today, the sun high in the sky, warming the earth. I was counting the houses on the block till I got to Roxas', which was 13 houses. Hey, what can I say, I walk to his house a lot. And I have a bad habit of memorizing little insignificant things that normal people won't even think important. A fairly large house stood before me, blocking out the sun. I couldn't tell you how many times I've been in this house or stayed over. I almost live here! The sun came out from behind the house as I walked up the drive way and to the side of the house where the window to Roxas' room was. What caught me attention was, it was already open. And that was strange, but, I didn't think much more about it, since maybe he left it open for me to come in. When I heaved myself up the window, I half expected Roxas to be sitting on his bed. But another part of me started thinking of the worst that could happen. Sure enough, when I got in the room, Roxas was nowhere to be seen. Even his room was empty. Now something is _definitely_ wrong here. The first thing that I saw was a smashed frame on the ground, right in front of the door. When I picked the mangled frame, I saw that it was Roxas favorite picture of him and his parents. He wouldn't break something this important to him without a pretty good reason.

" Roxas?" I called out, trying to look all around the room for said blond. Nothing. Not a trace of him anywhere. That's when my worry kicked in. Where could he have gone? In my rush to find him, I spotted his phone laying on the floor of his room. Okay, something BIG happened if he was in that much of a rush that he forgot his phone and smashed his _favorite_ picture. But what? What happened? It must have something to do with his parents. Wait! He..couldn't have..told them...did he? Shit! I'm the one who pushed it on him to tell his parents in the first place! Damn. Fuck! I hope they didn't see us last night! Or hear us for that matter. Shit shit shit shit! I can't really blame his parents for getting pissed about that. What parent _wouldn't_ be even a little pissed about finding your only son, who you thought was a perfect angel for years, fucking with his strange friend that has secretly dating said son for years now. Not exactly a fine how do you do. And on top of that, you went all these years thinking that your son is as straight as a twig, when in reality, he's about as straight as a circle. Motherfucking bullshit! I was the one who told him to tell them, and what do I do? Come to his house, when he doesn't even _know_ if his parents are of sure gone, and fuck him senseless. And because I was a numbskull and didn't wait, his parents found out the hard way and didn't get to have Roxas tell them so they could work it out better. God, I remember the conversation like it was yesterday.

_0-0-0-0_

_ " Rox, you gotta tell them. Their going to find out sometime!" I yelled, trying to get my stubborn boyfriend to fess-up to his parents about being gay. Well, gay for me at least. But, if I know Roxas, you could argue for hours and get the same results as if you were talking to a wall. He is one stubborn, but dead sexy, ass. _

_" Axel. You don't understand my parents. They would FLIP! Not only that, but I would be dead. For the past three years we've been hiding this from them, that is a big stab in the back for them. They hate gays with a passion. So I can't just sit them down and say, ' Hey mom, dad, guess what? I'm hopelessly in love with Axel. You remember him? Of course you do, he's over all the time. And you remember all those times when me and him had 'sleep overs'? Well, we were having major make-out sessions and were very close to fucking. So, long story short, I'm gay!', yeah, somehow I don't think that would go over so well." He grumbled, laying his head in my lap, making me a _VERY_ happy pyro. And see what I mean! Nothing can change his mind! But, then again, I did change his mind about his sexuality. _

_" Roxxaaasss! Come on! I'll be there with you. And I'm sure they already have some what of a clue to what's going on between us. There's no way that they haven't noticed us for three years!" I argued, petting his head. _

_" You'd be surprised at how clueless my parents are to something that isn't right in front of their eyes. Even then they still wouldn't know! I didn't get my brains from them." Roxas mumbled into my legs, nuzzling into them. Oh, don't do that Roxas! Your going to make me loose control. I got a brilliant idea. With a smirk, I picked up Roxas' head, bringing his lips close to mine. A sweet, long groan came from him, egging me on. Moving my legs, I made Roxas strattle me, getting him in just the right place so I could grind my hips on was gorgeous, intoxicating friction, that almost drove me to the edge. But I remembered the goal that I had in mind and pressed on._

_" Tell them. Tell them, and I'll continue." I purred in his ear, watching as his head went back as I rocked my hips on his again. I was about to say something when I was pulled up by the collar of my shirt, face to face with Roxas._

_" Your an asshole, you know that? Using black mail. You son of a bitch." I was about to say something to try to amend it, when lips were on mine, stopping any thoughts from coming to my mind. Mm._

_" But your my asshole. And, for you, I'll tell then after they go on their vacation in a couple of weeks." Roxas promised once we broke for air. At the realization that we wouldn't have to hide it any longer, joy filled me._

_" Ah! I love you you little monster!" I squealed, hugging Roxas tight. I don't care that I sound like a girl, I was just to fucking happy!_

0-0-0-0

I spent the night out on a park bench. My first day after being kicked out for liking a guy. What fun. Let me tell you how much _fun_ I had.

First, I was wondering around, trying to find a place to crash, when this drunk guy walks up to me and just throws up. Right on my shirt! I mean, what the fucking hell? He passed out and I just took off my shirt and put on a fresh one from my bag.

Next, I was sitting on the bench I spent the night on, just minding my own business, when this little brat came out of nowhere and whacked me on the head. I was ready to pop one to the kid, but the mom came and got her devil child.

After all that I was starting to think that the world wanted to turn it's back on me too. The last thing that happened to me was, when I was walking around, a bird, flying over head, decided to crap right when I walked under it. I was so fucking pissed and upset, that I just fell asleep before anything else could go wrong. So this morning I had high hopes that things just might go better for me. So here I am, sitting on a bus bench, looking at a picture of me and Axel, feeling like total shit. I hadn't even told Axel about all this. I should have, the first moment I knew about it. He would have gone mother hen on me, but, I kinda need someone to hold me and smother me right now. I want Axel here right now. I yanked my bag up from under the bench, already digging threw it. Phone phone phone where the hell is my phone? Fuck, I left it at home didn't I?

" Shit!" What will I do now? I could go over to Axel's place myself. I know the way. Yeah I'll do that. Getting off the bench, I looked both ways, twice, and walked into the road. As soon as I got to the middle of the road, I heard a loud screeching sound that made my ears hurt a lot. Two bright lights of a car speeding right for me filled my sight, making me freeze in fear. The lights got brighter and brighter till they were my world. Then, I saw nothing but black..Axel. I want Axel. I want Axel to hold me till all this fear is gone..

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><p><strong>AN This was pretty sad! DX I teared up just typing this out! Then again, it doesn't take much to make me cry. I'm going with slightly sad but it gets better as the story plays it's self out! As I'm going over it in my head, it seems kinda soap opera like, but, not as bad as real soap operas that have people coming back from the dead and stupid shit like that. ( swearing has been in my writing a lot today..wonder why?) Please tell me your thoughts on this! Hope I get some awesome people to follow me as I update! :3**


	2. Memory loss?

**A/N Sorry this is kinda late. I hope that it's okay, since I didn't get a whole lot of reviews for the last chapter.**

**Warning: Slight bad language, yaoi, room abusing, and overdramatic-ness!**

**You've been warned! :3  
><strong>

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><p>The sun was being smothered by the clouds, causing any sunlight to be blocked out. It's been a day since I heard anything from Roxas. He didn't even try coming to my house. He knows that he can come anytime he wants. I understand that he hasn't called me, since he doesn't even have his phone, which I've been snuggling with all night. Not to mention that I've been guarding the phone with my life. When I woke up this morning, I told my mom that I just wanted to get some fresh air, but I planed on going to Roxas' one last time to see if he's there. My stomach has been churning unhappily ever since I found the picture and phone in Roxas' room. I have a bad feeling about something. I tried calming myself by counting the houses leading up to Roxas'.<p>

One.

I realized that counting just made me even more anxious then when I was just walking.

Two.

My pace picked up with each house.

Three.

Faster.

Four.

Faster.

Five.

Running.

Six.

Sprinting.

Seven.

Running till I felt like my lungs would give out. The houses flew by me so fast that I couldn't count them. My mind was spinning and I felt like throwing up. The house I've seen so many times came as slight relief. That relief turned into fear as I saw Roxas' parents carrying boxes out of the house. Before I was seen, I jumped behind a bush, watching them from a distance.

They didn't even notice me as they closed the door to the big truck and went back to the front door, locking it. My heart leaped to my throat when they hopped in the truck, pulling away from the house. I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding in. Okay, now I know they won't be here when I look for Roxas. Getting out of my bush, I headed over to Roxas' window, jumping to catch the ledge of the window. I easily lifted myself up and over. It looked as if nothing changed. Everything in it's place that Roxas left it when he left. My sadness that had been bottled up ever since the blond was nowhere to be found, started to unfurl. The floor creaked as I walked to the center of the small room, looking as lost as a puppy without it's mother. I never noticed how sad this room looks till it was empty. The dresser was the result of Roxas' rage and frustration with its drawers barely on, its handles broken and tossed across the room. My fingers ran across the smooth surface of the abused furniture, feeling every nick and dent. I jumped as something made an unexpected noise within the drawer. Peering inside, I saw a picture of me and Roxas, both of us smiling to the camera, well I would be if I didn't have my lips on Roxas' cheek. Suddenly I was filled to the brim with despair. I fell to my knees and cried like I've never cried before. The picture from the drawer being held to my chest.

0-0-0-0

Pain rocked through my body as I tried to move. Everywhere seemed to be on fire, searing pain. My head wasn't any better, pain pulsing through it. I barely managed to open my eyes and get a look around the room, but, I miraculously was able to do that much.

" Oh, your awake! That's good." A pretty blonde girl was seated next to me, smiling. She was wearing a white dress.

" Geez, I _must_ be dead! I'm seeing angles." She laughed at my sad attempt at a joke. She reached her hand out before realizing that I wouldn't be able to shake it.

" My name's Namine. I got to your school and I heard about your accident and thought that it'd be nice to come see how you were doing." My school? Twilight high..? Wait, I am in tenth grade...right?

" Your...sixteen..right? So your in tenth grade. And..I'm in some of your classes..right? I can't remember exactly. It's kinda fuzzy." Namine's eyes widened and she put her hand over her mouth. Did I say something wrong? I hope that I didn't offend her! I thought I was just asking a question.

" You mean..you don't know?" I shook my head. A gasp came, followed by mumbling and her staring in my eyes.

"Tell me your name."

"..Roxas."

" Birthday?"

" August 13th."

" School?"

" Twilight High. What's the point of this?"

" Favorite sport?"

" Um...dodge ball?" She looked sad with my answer and it made me sad seeing her sad. I can't remember what my favorite sport is. I remember dodge ball..but nothing else. It's like someone picked a length of time in my head and pressed delete, but didn't get it all.

" You've been on the struggle team from three years now Roxas. Can't you remember?" No I can't remember. I want to remember, but I can't. Why can't I remember? And how did I get in the hospital in the first place?

" Sorry for interrupting, but, Mr. Strife, you may go home if you wish. But, we had trouble contacting your parents, do you know how we might?" A doctor asked coming to stand next to Namine, staring at me with caring eyes.

" No, I have no idea."

" Well, you may grab your stuff and leave." With that said, the doctor left me and Namine in the room. She immediately straightened and smoothed out her dress.

" I get your stuff for you! And I'll walk with you back to your house. You..do remember where it is..right?" She had her back to me, looking over her shoulder, a worried look played out over her pretty features. Of course, it was to hard to resist laughing at the silly question.

" Of course I remember where I live!" A sigh came from Namine and she returned to her gathering on my stuff.

0-0-0-0

While I was lifting Roxas' bag, a piece of paper slipped, fluttering to the floor. Bending down to pick it up, I saw Roxas standing with a redhead kissing his cheek. A little gasp slipped out, out of surprise. Does Roxas have a boyfriend? If this is just his friend, their very close!

" You okay Namine?" A hand was on my shoulder, causing me to jump out of my skin. I quickly pressed the paper to my chest, making sure the Roxas couldn't see what I had found.

" I'm fine. I just dropped something." Trying to cover up my tracks, I rushed to throw together Roxas' bag, handing the heavy duffel to the waiting blond. " Hey, Roxas, do you remember dating anyone?"

"...Not that I remember..am I?"

" I haven't seen you with anyone. I was just wondering if you had remembered if you might have." My reply was rushed, just proving my guiltiness. I'm doing a bad thing. I should just tell him that I know he is. But, do I really want to ruin my chance to get to know him? Not really. But, still. I think this is wrong.

" Okay. Let's head off now." I don't know if I'll be able to live with myself.

0-0-0-0

After I was able to pull myself together, I got to my feet, shakily walking to the window. right now all I need is to just go and lie down for a while. My legs felt like crumbling apart as I jumped off the window sill. Yeah, I need to just sort out my mind. And off I went to go sleep.

0-0-0-0

" Are you sure this is the place?" We were standing in front of a big house, empty as the bottom of the pop can. I'm sure that this is my house! It's not like I'll just forget my home for the last sixteen years!

" Yeah, this is it. What I want to know is, why is there a 'For Sale' sign in the window? I mean, my parents wouldn't just leave me. They love me." I was confused about the whole thing. What the hell happened that I can't remember things and my parents are no where to be found?

" You can come with me and my family till you can talk to your parents." Namine offered, turning to face me. That sounded good to me. " But, my family is going to be leaving tonight though. But we can still call your parents and they can come pick you up." She must of saw my face when she told me that her family's leaving, since she added in that part.

" Okay. Sounds good to me." I let Namine take the lead as we headed towards her house. Hey, maybe this can be a good thing for a change.

0-0-0-0

My mom was worried when she saw me come through the door with puffy, tear stained, eyes. So I had to put up with ten minutes of fending off my mom's 'mother hen' routine. After some good convincing and empty promises of being told later, I got to the safety of my dark room. I sat looking up at my dirty ceiling, full of marks I made. Let's just say I get destructive when board. My whole room is abused; From the collapsing furniture to the singed walls and the shredded up papers. I take terrible care for my room and my mom has learned to stop caring. After seventeen years of _me_ she learned to ignore a lot of things, like the fact that I've been interested in guys for ten years now. Or the fact that I have a short fuse and throw tantrums like a two year old. Yeah, being my mom, you know these things early.

" Axel, you okay baby? You've been quiet, which is a gift and a curse. But I just want to know if your okay...and if you want dinner." She always knows how to make me feel better with her sarcasm and corkiness. A laugh slipped out on its own accord. Once she heard my laugh, my mom entered my room, quietly closing the door and coming to sit on my bed. " Glad that you can still laugh. After all your gloominess, I was beginning to think you didn't know how!" Her giggle showed just how buoyant she really is. That gene must have skipped my generation. Sure I'm still sarcastic like my mom, but not nearly as blithe and caring as her. She's incapable to be sad or mad. But she does have little episodes every once and a while, but not like me. I'm melancholy a lot of the time, but still try to be optimistic as much as possible. But for her, there _is_ no down side.

" I'm fine mom, just a bit sad is all. And I'm not too hungry right now." My tone just proved how glum I can be. Of course she need bullshit when she saw it, so when I tried selling it too her she gave me a ' Look'. You know..a mom look. The ' I want none of your shit so tell me' look.

" And pigs fly. I know your sad so why don't you just tell me. About dinner, your having it even if I have to shove it down your throat. Soo, let me guess, your sad about something you did that made Roxas mad, or Roxas said something to you that made you sad. Either way, it must involve Roxas." I'm amazed at just how much she can get right by just looking at me. My head dropping as soon as she mentioned Roxas' name didn't help in trying to say she's wrong.

" Yeah. It's my mouth again. I opened it and got him into shit. But, it might have been that I choose to see him at the wrong time. What am I saying? Of course it's what I did!" My head hurt as I yanked on my hair.

" I thought so. And what did you do? It's not like you can do something he wouldn't want. You two are already fucking, so what's the problem? It's not..." She left the sentence unfinished but I knew what she was going to say.

" Yes. Parents. The homo phobe, blind-to-everyting, ass wipes. They caught me and Rox going at it and both had mental break downs and pissed Rox off. So he packed everything, ruined his favorite picture and left his phone. Now his parents are selling the house and Roxas is nowhere to be found." She knows all about the parents. I'm just glad that she was totally okay with me and Roxas. Hell, when I came out of the closet, she didn't care at all! Instead, she pointed out cute guys to me instead of the cute girls she used to point out. No big scene. No cursing. No yelling. No evicting. Nothing. Just exception and love.

" Ah. Damn. I wanted to talk to them about it too. Try and change their minds about gays. Can't now. That really sucks! And I want to know what the fuck they did to Roxas! He's like my second child! I swear if they did anything to him, I'll twist their necks!" She was being overdramatic again. But she made a good point.

" You and me both. I want to know where Rox is, and bring him back. He can live here."

" Yeah! He's always welcome! Just..try to control yourselves around me. I'll let you guys have the whole house for a little bit and come back when it's safe." We laughed together. See, she can make anyone smile when they feel like shit. But i still have a nagging feeling that something bad happened.

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><p><strong>AN I hope that this is okay and you review it for me! **


	3. Familiar? Friends?

**A/N I tried making this a bit longer, but failed. I wanted it to be longer then this. But here it is after a couple of days of endless lack of inspiration. But I really like where this story is going. Hope you like it!**

**Reviewers, they need thanks!**

**Riku16**

**WillCosplayForFood**

**ADeadBlackRose**

**Thank you three for being the ones that have reviewed thus far. I love you all! *heart* I hope you guys stick with me as this gets up in chapters!  
><strong>

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><p>" Who's that?" What a nice greeting. Namine and me stood in the door way of her house. What if her parents get mad at me and don't want me here? Where will I go? I don't have any close friend's that'll be nice enough to let me stay at their houses. So what do I plan on doing?<p>

" His name is Roxas and her was in a car accident. He must have bumped his head since he has trouble remembering things. But, he doesn't know where his parents went, so I thought it would be nice to invite him to stay with us till he finds his parents. He's okay with moving with us. And he can help move the rest of the stuff to." Her parents continued on staring at me as Namine explained our situation. I feel so welcome.

" Okay. Sounds great. We're almost done, so we'll be leaving soon." They ushered us into the house, shoving boxes into our hands as soon as we got in.

0-0-0-0

Sleep seemed to be unreachable as I laid on my side. My stomach felt ready to pop. My mom wasn't kidding when she said that she would make me eat. She also wouldn't let me out of the house, since she was worried that I'll 'go off crying' again.

" Shit." I shoved my face in a pillow, trying to get a little sleep. But with Roxas' face popping into my head as soon as I close my eyes, sleep becomes nothing more then a dream. And I need the sleep, since I got to go to school tomorrow. Maybe I'll see Roxas there! I hope I do. I need to know that he's safe. And to bring him back to me. I snuggled into the pillow and finally found the sleep I wanted.

0-0-0-0

We were all sitting in the car, not breathing a word. It's been hours since we left. It's even dark outside the window of the car! Where on earth is this new place?

" Um..just..where is your new house?" No one turned their heads to look at me. Silence stretched on for a couple more minutes before someone answered.

" A day away." My face fell. A DAY? What? I didn't sign up for this!

"O-oh."

0-0-0-0

" Why do you look so happy?" I was greeted after I jumped down the stairs with a smile. My mom was standing in the kitchen, making breakfast. She was looking at me like she knew everything. I ignored her, giving my shoulders a shrug before plopping down on the chair. My eyes met hers and I gave one of my smirks.

" I don't know...nice day outside." She laughed, placing a plate in front of me. I know your probably wondering ' where the heck is the dad in all this?'. Well, you see, there isn't one. I know how birth works so I know that you can't make a kid without a guy to stick his dick up a girl and get her pregnant. But my mom kicked him to the curb after he started cheating and getting tipsy every other day. They're still talking to each other, even friends! Just not together any more. I see Reno sometimes, not like it matters. I love my mom and she loves me. He's not in the picture so no need to worry about talking to him. Not like if I'd talk to him, or he was here, we'd be any better off. He's a cool guy though. He knows that I'm gay too, since my mom felt like he should know. And, surprise surprise, he didn't care. He even said that he's had a guy or two. Weird. Must be in my genes or something. Yeah I'm a bastard. Before you laugh, a bastard is a child of two unmarried parents at time of birth. Suck it!

" Right.." My mom gave me the same look again. I smiled at her and stood up, taking a bite of my toast.

" Well, I'll head out now. Bye and love ya mom." I kissed her head and rushed to get out of the door. I know she'll complain about me not eating. She does every day.

" Axel. Eat something at school. Anyway, have a nice day at school babe." She took a bite of her food, not wanting to fight this morning either. I came back in the room to give her one last kiss on the head. Sometimes I wonder who's the parent here.

" Bye." The sun was trying to make it up in the sky, leaving a red-orange glow behind. I love the sun set and sunrise. It's so beautiful.

" Hey Axel! Wait up!" Someone was yelling for me, running to catch up. Who the hell is that? I don't normally hang out with many people besides Roxas. A guy about my height came to a halt at my feet. His hair looked like the love child of a mullet and a mohawk. The blond stuck his hand out to me, giving me a lopsided smile.

" Names Demyx! I've seen you around school and always wanted to hang out with you. But you were always dragged away before I got the chance. So what do you say, hang out with me? Me and my friends are going to hang out after school so you can come with us if you'd like. I have your first period so we can talk more in there too. Who was the guy with you all the time...Roxas was it? Well he can come too! The more the merrier! You guys look like your good friends. Always being at each other's sides in all. I hope you don't mind gays, since I'm gay and some of my friends are gay too. We all are a nice little group, but people call us names. Like dorks, losers, gays. But we don't care. So what's your story?" It's was hard to keep up with all that the blond said. He said that whole paragraph in one breath. Not to mention he seemed to have a stride two times the size of mine.

" I'll hang out with you. I'm gay myself so gays don't bother me at all. I don't know about Roxas hanging out too. I haven't seen him in a little while, so I couldn't speak for him. And We're a little more then just friends." Demyx laughed at me, throwing his arm across my shoulders. I saw that Demyx was actually a little taller then me. That was a first. Normally I was always the tallest.

" Ahh~! I see. No wounder I always thought I saw something more! Ever _do_ it?" At his sudden question, my innocent side came out to play. My cheeks flushed and I got nervous. Suddenly I wanted to crawl out of my skin.

" We-um-ah..well..hn..we..might..have. Once or twice. Or many times..." We laughed together, continuing our strange walk to school. This has got to be one of the weirdest conversations that I've ever had with a person that I just met.

" Nice! So your _really_ close then! I can't really be talking since I've been on the bottom and top. Many times." I'm beginning to like this guy! He's really funny.

" Who's this guy then? Sounds like quite the person if they can get someone to be on the bottom _and_ top." It was Demyx's turn to blush. Lucky for him, we reached school before he answered. And were surrounded by a small group of people as soon as we stepped foot in the premises.

"Hey Dem Dem! Why are you with this guy?" Geez, these people don't hold back do they? Speak their minds whenever they feel like it. Yeah, Roxas would hate them. Demyx motioned to me.

" His name is Axel. He's a really cool guy. And me and him were talking the whole way here! We learned so much about each other! Like how I know that he's g-" My hand shot out and covered Demyx's mouth. Does he want to tell the whole school? Demyx was giving me a weird look.

" Do you want me to give you a bullhorn so you can tell the whole school? I don't exactly want many people to know that little tid bit." Demyx was happy that I let him go and went to go stand by his group of friends. " Promise that you won't tell anyone?" My glare was right on the blond in question, making sure that he wouldn't lie to me. He gave me a nod in agreement. The shorter male standing next to him laughed.

" Demyx can't _not_ tell someone something! Just watch." He twisted Demyx to they were face to face. " Dem, can you tell me the secret?" The shorter of the two had a pleading look on his face, causing the other to melt. Demyx stared back in the slate haired male's eyes, barely breathing.

" Axel's gay and has done it with another guy." I wanted nothing more then to just wrap my hands around his scrawny little neck and squeeze! I can't believe that I trusted him!

" Demyx!" My voice crackled as it reached an octave that I never used. Said person cringed and gave me a coy smile.

" Ha ha..sorry Axel." Where's my lighter when I need it? I faked a smile, calmly walking closer to the lanky blond. " Axel. Axel! AXEL! Don't kill me!" He was walking backwards as I got closer.

"I'm not mad." I hissed threw my gritted teeth, glaring at the retreating male. He laughed uneasily, almost tripping over his own feet. The slate haired guy grabbed Demyx's hand before he could retreat. Instead, Demyx hid behind said guy. Nothing can beat watching a six foot guy try to hid behind a guy that's barely five feet.

"Well you kinda look like it." It was my turn to laugh.

" Really? Well, someone tends to look mad when you BREAK a PROMISE that we made TWO SECONDS BEFORE! I swear, when I get my hands on you, I'll rip that empty head of yours right off your shoulders!" Everyone in the area turned their heads to look at the source of the screams, which so happened to be me. I felt the anger in every part of my body.

" Axel. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. And your not making the best impression on us." The guy, who's name I still don't know, spoke in a calm tone. The breath I was holding in was slowly released, taking my anger with it. Though I was still ticked at Demyx.

" Yeah yeah. I'm really not mad anymore. How 'bout we get going so we're not late to class." All members of the group agreed and began heading through the doors of the school. Demyx wormed his way to me looking worried.

" I didn't mean to make you mad Axe. I didn't know that you'd be so defensive of your sexuality. None of us care you know." It was hard to hear Demyx over the roar of students talking. Not to mention he had his head facing the floor. I can see me and Demyx being good friends.

" Hey, Dem, don't beat yourself up! It's okay. I'm just not used to hanging out with people. And your a cool guy and easy to hang out with." He smiled brightly at me, slinging his arm around my shoulders.

"I think that this is the start to a beautiful friendship." And into the classroom we went.

0-0-0-0

"Roxas..Roxas..ROXAS IT'S TIME TO GET UP!" My ears rang as I jolted from my sleep. I was about to snap att the person when I realized that it was Namine. She had a look on her face that I couldn't place to an emotion right now. A breeze of brisk air nipped at the flesh that was exposed on my body, causing a shiver to run down my back. My gaze went just beyond Namine's shoulder to find that the source of the cold was an open car door. Which meant that I had fell asleep in the car.

" Oh, sorry Namine. I guess that I was more tired then I had thought." My hair was messed up when I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly, which made Namine laugh at my actions, she helped me out of the car and lead my to a big house. Bigger then my old one that's for sure! Damn, it almost looks like a mansion! Yet another giggle came from the other blonde as I stood in awe at the, very spacious, house.

" Kinda big huh?" A snort was my response to her word to describe the house in front of us.

" Big? This thing is huge! Big is an understatement!" Being overdramatic, I ran close to the house, spreading my arms wide to prove my point that the house never ends. She cracked up at my lame joke.

" Your so funny Rox!" My face fell as her words sounded frighteningly familiar. But, the question is, why? Why does it felt like I've heard that before? Why does it make me mad and joyful at the same time? A face flashed in my mind, causing a monster of a headache to explode in my brain. Monster, another familiar word. But where? " Roxas, are you okay?" The light seemed as bright as the sun when I tried looking at the girl who was talking to me. But all hope of looking at her was lost as everything went black and my memory faded. Lulling into a sleep like comfort, but with agonizing pain shooting threw my skull. Where...have I heard..that..?

0-0-0-0

Demyx's friends quickly warmed up to me when we all sat down and really talked at lunch.

" So your gay, right? Well nice to meet another fellow gay in this school! It seems like everybody has a stick up their butt in this place. No one can take a joke. Assholes. Just take the teachers for example! Like Mr. Cloud, who didn't even smile when Demyx was trying to bend a ruler to see if it was a bendy one and Mr. Cloud said ' It doesn't bend like that.' and I replied with ' That's what she said!'. I swear that guy has no sense of humor! That one's a classic." I couldn't help but snort at his joke, on the verge of hysterics. " See! At least you aren't afraid to laugh! Everybody but me and Demyx didn't laugh! I mean what the hell man!" Xigbar was ranting about random things. He's a funny guy just like Demyx.

Zexion, who was the guy from before that made Demyx tell him I was gay, is a different story. He is pretty anti-social and a stick in the mud. But he has his moments of awesome-ness. How ever rare they might be. I was surprised when Demyx said _that_ was the guy that he was with! What the hell? They are like from two different sides of two different coins! But opposites attract. The Yin and Yang of a relationship.

Luxord is a lot like Xigbar and Demyx, but with a slight drinking problem. Not to the point of killing him, but not healthy in any way. Over all a cool, party kind of guy.

Xemnas and Saix. Quite a pair. Both funny in their own respects. Both pricks at times. Both..interesting.

" Well, what's your life like?" Demyx asked me once he got enough time to put it in the conversation.

" Like any other so far. Great boyfriend, that tends to be overdramatic, but is the cutest thing you'll ever see! Awesome mom who is laid back and can never seem to be mean. My dad's one of the only things not normal in my life. He got my mom pregnant, but was in the middle of a drinking problem at the time. And he just became more trouble then he was worth, so mom kicked him out and spoiled me to not end. I have a little dog in my backyard who's name is Lea. I love the little stinker to bits! Plus he's a redhead just like me! But the non-normal thing in my life is, my boyfriend got caught doing it with me and his parents had a cow and kicked him out, selling their house in the process. Now I don't know where the fuck he ran off to and really want to bring him back to live with me. So my life is just fuckin' super!" Everyone at the table actually shut up and let me tell my shortened life story. It was probably hard from them to do just that much.

" What a life." Xigbar joked laughing a bit. Thanks Xig..thanks a lot.

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><p><strong>AN Good, bad, so-so? Tell me your thoughts! Why are those words so familiar to Roxas? More importantly, what _happened_ to Roxas right there? Will Roxas get his memory back? Is Axel hanging out with a new group? Will he ever find Roxas? Only I know for sure ;3 Review for me! Please?**


	4. Familiar

**A/N Another chap of Lost love. I hope you like it! **

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><p>" Mom, dad! Hurry!" I screamed, holding Roxas' head up, hoping that he'd come to. My instincts took over, and suddenly I was doing anything to get him to wake up. Which meant that I was slapping him and hard as possible. Forgive me Roxas.<p>

" Nam, what happened?" My mom was right by my side, pulling his eyelids up to see what his eyes looked like. When his eyes were reveled, they were rolled back, nothing but little blood veins.

" I don't know. He just fainted and wouldn't wake up." She tried sitting him up, and I helped. Roxas' head fell back like he was made out of rubber. So he wouldn't hurt his neck, I pulled his head foreword so his chin was in his chest.

" Call 911!" My mom screamed at my dad. Oh Roxas, wake up. Please wake up! Tears pricked my eyes as I squeezed his hand tightly.

0-0-0-0

" Where do you guys want to go?" Demyx asked as all of us were walking down the street. Demyx said that we were going to do something, he didn't mention that he didn't even _know_ what to do! So we settled on walking down the street till we find something better to do.

"Aren't you the one who told us to hang out? So, your plan, your ideas." Zexion stated, not looking interested at all. Demyx however, was offended, he even had a hurt look on his face.

" Thanks Zexy...thanks a lot." His shoulders slumped as he fell back in his thought process. NO more then a second later, he straightened, a bright smile on his face. " I got it! The ice cream parlor! We all LOVE their ice cream there! Well, maybe not Axel." Everyone, once again, turned to stare at me.

" Do they have sea-salt ice cream there?" Call me crazy, but that's my favorite flavor of ice cream. Not the usual chocolate or vanilla that other people would choose. But I like those flavors too, just not as much as my sea-salt ice cream. Everyone had on a bright smile as they continued staring at me. All the staring is starting to freak me out.

" Welcome to the group Axel!" They all surrounded me, smiling.

" Are you kidding? That's what they're known for! The best sea-salt ice cream this side of Twilight town!" Demyx boasted, being overdramatic as usual. I decided that it was time to ruin this little love fest.

" I'll go, but I need to stop at my house for a minute. And you'll probably get to meet my mom...that oughta be fun.." They nodded their heads and followed as I lead the way.

0-0-0-0

" We need towels! And some water, hurry!" She commanded as my dad ran off to comply. My mom had told me to use my legs as something to hold Roxas head up better. So here I am, sitting on my knees, Roxas' head on my lap. I've never been this scared before. What if he doesn't wake up? What if he can't remember even more things? What if I lose him..? Could I really lose him if he was never mine? When He asked me if I ever saw him with someone, I lied. I did see him with that redhead before. It ruined my hopes too. Since when I saw them, they were kissing in the closet. I have had a crush on Roxas ever since I met him as a kid. He was a new kid in town and was so nice. But then he had to move and I lost him. But when I started high school, I found him again. But he didn't even seem to remember me. So I just sat back and swallowed in sadness. I should have told him. Then he could be happy. Then he could love the redhead with all his heart all over again. I know that the redhead's name is Axel. All of my old friends talked about him and 'how he's sooo dreamy!'. " Namine! Are you listening?" My thoughts were interrupted as someone yelled at me. Her eyes said it all. I was ignoring her and she was mad about it.

" Sorry, what do you want me to do?"

" Hold the towel on his head while I check to see if he's breathing and if his heart is working normally." My mom was going to be a nurse, but she didn't complete all the years that she needed to be one. So she gave up on her dream. " His breathing is shallow and his heart beat is slow. Where is that fucking ambulance? If they don't hurry he might not make it!" I've never heard my mom just swear like that. She didn't pay me any mind as I continued to stare in shock at her.

We all jumped at the sound of sirens screaming up the street. The tires of the white vehicle screeched as it jerked to a halt. As soon as it stopped men in white jumped out running towards us. I was yanked up by my mom, who made sure Roxas' head did slam on the ground.

" He has shallow breathing and a faint heart beat." She informed them as they started picking Roxas up.

" Thank you ma'am." With that they rushed off to the hospital, leaving me to stare after them in a daze. Tears started welling up in my eye once again. I could make out the individual fingers on the hand that was genitally place on my shoulder. My tear glazed eyes looked into my mom's blue ones.

" Sweetie, maybe you should take his stuff and put them in his room. Then go lie down yourself." Her voice was as smooth as honey, and just as sweet. A slight nod was the only thing that I gave her and walked back in the house. It was bare in the big space. Bags and boxes all over the floor, not placed with much care. Out of the bunch, I spotted Roxas' black and white bag. All my guiltiness slapped me in the face ten times harder. Doing my best to ignore the emotion eating at my insides, I grabbed the bag and heaved it up the stairs. Am I being selfish? I'm intentionally keeping Roxas from remembering his love. All because I wanted him all to myself. Is that a selfish thing to do?

It was quiet as I made my way down the long, bare hallway. Only my footsteps getting closer to the room at the end of the hall made any noise. Stopping, I stared at the lovely brown color of Roxas' new room. I just stood there, a blank look on my face. Shaking my head snapped me out of my trance. When I opened his door I was surprised at how dark it was in there. I must have been standing out there for quite some time. Ignoring the returning squeeze of my stomach, I put the bag down on the bed. I'll unpack for him. It's the least I can do after the hell I'm probably going to put him though. I pulled out some shirts, pants and other clothing, placing them in the dresser. I wonder where he was planing on going with all this stuff? A stab hit my heart as I thought of him heading to his love's house before the accident. Why am I chasing after someone that never even noticed me before he got hit on the head? If not for this accident, he would have gone on ignoring me. Continuing to unpack the stuff, a piece of paper slipped out of the pile I grabbed.

" Not another piece of paper.." I mumbled to myself. But curiosity got the best of me. It was a letter.

_Roxas,_

_ I love you with all my heart. I know I keep saying it, but I just want you to know that I do. Sorry that I can't text you this, my mom's holding my phone hostage till I get caught up on my school work. I was so surprised when she actually grew a back bone and demanded my phone. Well, not demanded. She said ' Axel. I'm so sorry babe, but I need to take your phone. I'm sorry! I just want you to get caught up on your school work and need something to hold over you. Oh my baby boy, I'm sorry! I'll go out and get you something nice to eat tonight. Would steaks be nice? And I'll grab a huge bucket of ice cream that we can eat in front of the TV after our steaks. Then we can go for a walk outside together and go to the movies sometime this week. If you don't want to go with your mom, you can take Roxas if you want. I'll pay! I'm sorry! I love you Axel babe! Don't hate me!'. So demanding wouldn't really be the word for that. But you gotta love her. Do you wanna take her up on her promise for a movie? You can pick. Then we can go to our favorite ice cream place and get some sea-salt ice cream. Talk about dorky and cliche. But it could be fun. I wanna say I love you again. If I could I would hold you in my arms all night so I can be the first thing you see every morning and be the first person to say 'I love you' to you. God, look at me. I've turned into a mush ball. Let me know at school if your on for it. _

_ Love you again Roxy,_

_Axel * kisses*_

My heart shattered into pieces. I knew that I had no chance. This only proves me right. Axel didn't stop saying I love you in this letter, and I'm sure that Roxas said it just as much to him. Why am I such a bad person? I fell to the floor, sobbing hard. I'm such a stupid girl.

0-0-0-0

" Mom! I'm home!" I called once I got in the house. A small yip was followed by a bouncing little puppy bounding down the hall, right for me. " Lea! Oh who's my little puppy!" I held out my arms and he jumped right in, snuggling and licking my face. I love him so much.

" Hey babe. I'm just in the kitchen." She called back to me. I tried my best not to worry about her coughing. I hope she's not getting sick. Or I'll have to baby her till she's better.

" Okay! Come on guys." I slipped off my shoes and enter the room. Leading the way to the kitchen, Lea jumped out of my arms, landing with a soft plop on the carpet. When we entered the kitchen, my mom was standing there, still in her pajamas. Which were black shorts trimmed with red and a matching black top with the same red trim. Her shorts showed off her bigger-then-normal thighs. I guess that I got that from her. To anyone else she would look normal and healthy, but I'm her son and I know when she's trying to lie to me. Her smile looked very natural, but to me it looked as fake as you could get. Her pretty hazle green eyes looked pain fulled and glazed over.

" Got some new friends? Nice to meet you! You can call me what ever you like. But my name's Kay!" She walked over and gave me a small hug.

" We're going to talk later about your health." I whispered in her ear, watching as her shoulders slumped. Again, I wonder who the parent is here. We like switch roles every other day. She turned to my friends, smiling happily at them. Demyx was the first to step foreword, shoving his face close to my mom's. She didn't even flinch, and continued smiling at him.

" I see where Axel gets his eyes from! Yours are soo pretty!" She blushed slightly at that, giggling behind her hand.

" Why thank you! I love your hair." See, she's to nice for her own good! It was Demyx's turn to blush and laugh. I can just see her hanging out with Demyx if she was younger.

" My name's Demyx! You can call me Dem, Dem Dem, Demy, anything really! But people say I talk to much. I hope that doesn't bother you." She smiled brightly at him, not fazed that he was speaking at hyper speed.

" Nice to meet you Demyx!" That's my bubbly mom for you. Demyx giggled and hugged her tightly, which would cut off a normal person's air. But this is my mom. _Nothing_ fazes her. After the hug, Xigbar stepped foreword.

" And I can see where Axel got his thighs from. Xigbar's the name but you can call me Xiggy." He is NOT putting the moves on my mom! Dude, what the hell! She's my MOM! He ignored my glares and continued smiling at her.

" I'll take that as a compliment. And, I'm twice your age. Sorry but I don't go for my son's friends." She was even polite when she told him off. Of course, I had to high five her on that one. We giggled together.

" Well, I can tell your Axel's mom." He smiled none the less. I gave him a glare, hoping that he knows that I'm not cool with him trying to put moves on my mom. The rest of the gang introduced themselves to my mom. We were standing around the island in the kitchen, waiting for someone to strike up conversation. I'm not surprised when it was my mom.

" So, where you guys going?"

" To the ice cream place in town." Her look immediately changed to one of jealously. My mom's a sucker for ice cream. Yet another trait I got from her.

" Would you be a nice little son and bring your loving mother back some sea-salt ice cream?" She plead with me, getting a innocent look in her eyes. Unfazed, I stared unemotionally back at her.

" No."

" Wha- Why? I'm the one who brought you into this world! The least you could do is bring me back some ice cream!"

" How 'bout no?" We had an intense glaring match, that she broke with a pout.

" Fine. Then I hope you can sleep with one eye open, since I'll not be held responsible for missing hair from your head when you wake up." My hands immediately went to my head, fisting my hair. Anger rising, I put on my best glare. And she smiled evilly at me. That smile looks a whole lot like mine.

" Fine."

" Your mom's so awesome Axel."

0-0-0-0

I had the weirdest sense of deja vu when I woke to an over load of white. I'm at the hospital again. Great.

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><p><strong>AN Hope this was okay for you guys!**


	5. Amnesia and tears

**A/N This is pretty late, I know. I'm sorry! DX This is a little sad. Crying and whatnot. I do not own any songs mentioned in here and information on amnesia is from wiki. The info on colic is from experience, since I had colic as a child. My mom said she went through hell! And she hated my birth since I almost killed her. I love you too mom! XD On the the story!**

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><p>My eyes started watering from the overload of white. I hate hospitals. But it seems like I'm in them a lot more now. Dammit. My head hurt, just like before, throbbing in agony.<p>

" Oh, Mister Strife, your awake now. You might want to take it easy and rest for a while, but you'll be better in no time." A doctor stood next to my bed, his blond hair giving me some sort of relief from all this white. He had sparkling blue eyes that went well with his nicely colored features. His blond hair was styled in spikes. His appearance looked a whole lot like mine if you look at it. Looking lower, I found a name tag with the name 'Cloud' written in black lettering.

" Thanks. Could you tell me what happened ?" I never know what happens to me. And that fact is driving me insane! I _hate_ not knowing something! It eats me from the inside out! That's why I hate Holidays that include presents. The waiting and not knowing almost shoves me off the edge. Cloud sat on the edge of the bed, looking through his clipboard.

" Well, it's says here that you just fainted and wouldn't wake up. Your breathing was shallow and heartbeat faint. The cause of your fainting was unknown." Damn that word! Unknown. God, of all words, _that's_ the word I hate the most!

" Oh. Could you give me your best guess of what it was?" He shook his head, giving me a pitying look.

" I couldn't say unless I was with you at the time of your fall and had a list of your body conditions before you fell." My head fell back at this news. What's the point in listening if you know your not going to like what you hear next? I tune people out if I know I don;t want to hear it. I used to do that with...someone. Hm? That's odd. I have a faint clue of who I'm talking about, but, I can't picture their face or gender or..anything. I just know I used to tune someone out all the time about..something. What the hell? Is my memory fucked up or what? Who is it? I keep thinking of things and that person is in them, just not when it comes to showing them. " Are you listening?" Cloud waved his hand in front of my face, obviously trying to get my attention. I ignored him again, going back to the mystery person. I see my parents looking at me with hate and disgust. Why? I felt really mad then ran to my room, picking up my favorite picture and smashing it. I..I never did that! Did I? " Mr. Strife!" Cloud yelled, once again bringing me back.

" Can you ever get partial amnesia?" I asked out of character. He looked at me funny. What did I say?

" Well, not necessarily. There are many types of amnesia, so partial amnesia could go under a number of categories. And amnesia can either be short or long term. So I would need you to clarify what you mean by that?" That's too many words! Oh what the hell, I might as well tell him what's going on since I'm going to be stuck in here for a while.

" Well, I have trouble remembering things. And it's just within, like, the last three years too. And I can't remember anything that really happened between then. But just before I fell, I remember hearing someone call me Rox and my head started hurting a lot and I blacked out. And when I was spacing out right now, I was remembering someone the I blocked out before, but, I can't remember anything about them. Just that I blocked them out before." Cloud looked at me hard, trying to sort out my information. I saw something snap in his eyes and he stood up quickly, running around the room. After some searching, he found what he was looking for.

" Here it is. A book on memory/memory loss/ Amnesia. This outta be as good as place as any to start!" He set the book down on the floor, patting a spot next to him. Slowly, I got off my bed and sat next to him, beginning to search.

0-2hours later-0

" Well, that narrows it down to : Dissociative Fugue, Lacunar amnesia, Post-traumatic amnesia, and Situation-Specific amnesia!" He still looked as cheery as ever, meanwhile I was dead on the floor, wanting nothing more then those two hours back. And a ton of sleep.

" Great. Can I sleep now?" I mumbled, crawling into my bed. He laughed, standing and dusting off the invisible dust from his pants, and leaving the room. Sleep. I want sleep. And to never look at a stupid medical book again!

0-0-0-0

I'll tell you how yesterday went, just for the hell of it.

After we met my mom, we headed out the door and made our way down main street. It was a nice day outside, sun shining and the kids playing. Rows and rows of shops were placed in a half circle. A fountain was placed in the middle, benches placed at one side of it. Trees were around the shops and the smaller ones were placed in random places, the red brick forming a circle around them, but returning to forming lines after it circled around the tree. To sum it up, it was a nice place. Demyx lead us to a small shop at the end of the shops.

" Come on! Hurry up!" He whined, running into the small shop. My eyes went skyward at his childish reaction. That's brainless Demyx for you! It was some what cold in the shop, I'm not sure why that surprised me, since this _was_ an _ice cream_ shop! A man with blond hair covered with a black beany stood, angerly cleaning a ice cream dish. Well he looks _so_ pleasant! " Haha! You got stuck with bar duty, huh Seifer?" Demyx laughed at the man, only pissing him off farther. His cleaning of the glass turned into almost breaking the glass. With the guy's muscles, I wouldn't be surprised if he did!

" Demyx, you know that Seifer won't hesitate to strangle you. Or beat you with a struggle bat. Which ever on he feels like doing today." Zexion stated with a sigh, moving to sit next to the male. Seifer smirked, glaring at the blond in front of him.

" Yeah, listen to the emo! Just wait till I catch you outside and I can use you to paint the walls!" He hissed, getting up in Demyx's face.

" Oh, what color are you going to paint it?" He asked happily, smiling at the irate blond. I hid my laugh well and sat at the bar, still watching the show of coarse.

" Red. A nice, bloody, red!"

" Oh, like Axel's hair! That'll be nice. I'm sure the owners would like that." Wow, if I thought this guy was dense before, he's hit a new level. I can't tell if he's just playing with Seifer or he really doesn't know. Seifer looked over to me, frowning.

" Another Lamer to join you guys?" He scoffed and went to put the glass away. " Order something so you can get out of here and away from me faster!" He ordered, making me jump. Demyx laughed.

" You know what we always order! Sea-salt ice cream!" The song 'heads will roll' by Yeah yeah yeahs started playing. I love that song for some reason! So while Seifer was getting the ice cream, I was singing to it.

" Of with your head. Dance till your dead. Heads will roll, heads with roll, heads will roll..on the floor!" Demyx joined me, laughing as we sung.

" You two are terrible singers." Xemnas snapped, stabbing his ice cream with a spoon as soon as he got it. Me and Demyx stuck our tongues out at him. Before my lips even touched the ice cream, ' Someone like you' by Adele started playing. Making me sad. It reminded me of Roxas for some reason. I put the spoon in my mouth, trying to enjoy my ice cream. After that song ended, 'Maps' by yeah yeah yeahs started playing, followed by 'With out you' by David Guetta, _then_, 'Iris' by goo goo dolls! Is someone _trying_ to make me depressed? I had another small bite of my ice cream, holding back my tears. Another song played, this time it was 'it will rain' by Bruno mars. 'Misery' Maroon 5, ' For you I will' by Teddy Geiger, ' You could be happy' by Snow patrol. I'm not hungry any more. I stared at my ice cream sadly, trying, for all I was worth, not to cry.

" Hey, what's up with mopey over here?" I heard Seifer speak up, pointing at me. I ignored him.

" I don't know. He was fine before." Demyx mumbled, looking over to me. I can't take it! I stood, slamming a 5 on the counter, running out of the shop, tears pricking my eyes. I need to get home! I can't let anyone see me like this! Tears were streaming down my face at this time. All I could think was I needed to get home. People yelled at me when I bumped into them, not that I cared. Before I knew it, I was at my house, bursting through the door.

I knew my mom wasn't home, since she didn't run out of somewhere, yelling my name, coming to comfort me. I'm glad that she's not here. I just want to cry this time. I ran up the stairs, tripping and falling on some, then bolted to my room. My face was soaked with tears and my face felt puffy. I must look awesome. Looking around my room, I found a black and white phone laying on my back pack, a picture on top of it. Tears pored out even more as I picked them up and held them to my chest. Roxas..I want my Roxas back! I..need him. I need him to be there for me. To love me no matter how rude I am. My breath was extremely hitched, not really even seeming like a breath, more like hyperventilating. Tears fell to the phone and picture, sliding off and landing on my pants. I'm such a wimp. Without Roxas, I fall apart, not able to stand without him near. Or breathe without knowing he's going to come back. My door burst open, a panting Demyx standing in the frame.

" A..Axel? What..h..happened?" He walked closer and crouched next to me. I held the objects closer to myself, attempting to comfort myself a little.

"...Nothing.." I whispered hoarsely. " ...I..I'm..fine.." Demyx looked into my tear stained eyes with sadness.

" 'Fine' my ass. Is it Roxas?" Is it really that easy to tell with me? My mom guesses right, and now Demyx can guess right too. Demyx reached out a hand, easily grabbing the phone and picture out of my hand. I let my head hit the wall next to me as Demyx looked at the stuff. " Axel. Did you send all these texts to his phone?" He asked, worry in his voice.

" Yeah. I thought it might help. It didn't." My voice cracked, but no tears came out. I think I ran out. Two lanky arms wrapped around me, hugging me tightly.

" Oh, Ax! I wish you would have told me sooner!" I let a meek laugh slip out.

" Dem, we just met. I don't think sharing something like that would do any good." He shoved his face in deeper to my chest. " Hey, who's comforting who here?" I joked, rubbing his back. My door burst open again, revealing my worried mom.

" Axel! Are you okay babe? Is Demyx okay?" She rushed over to us and Demyx grabbed on to her, tears going down his face. My mom welcomed him with open arms, pulling him into her lap, which was hard to do since he's two times her size. But she manages to do that which me still.

" He's fine. I just got upset about...and he felt my pain and just started crying." I explained, skipping over Roxas' name. She knows who I'm talking about any ways. My mom ran her hand through Demyx's hair, starting her calming thing that she does to get people to calm down. First: Running her fingers through their hair. Second: Rubbing their backs. Third: Rocking back and forth. Lastly: barely touching your face as she rubs it. It might not sound like much, but it can put most people to sleep. She said she did that when I was a baby and wouldn't stop crying. After all, I had colic. Where is when a baby keeps crying for a long time without a reason. Let's just say that tried her patience. Once again, for the third time today, the door swing open, the rest of the gang walking in.

" Aw~! I missed cuddling time?" Xigbar whined, pouting at my mom. I looked over to see she had gotten Demyx to fall asleep. She rolled her eyes, giving Xigbar a look. Zexion stepped over, taking Demyx from my mom with a 'thank you'. She stood, waving at my friends, going to leave the room, but looked over to me.

" We'll talk later, okay?" I nodded. I just want to sleep and forget everything.

Sounds like an awesome day, huh?

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><p><strong>AN I hope this was okay. A little short, but, I got it out! **


	6. Group hugs! More confusion

**A/N Wow, already another post of this? Amazing! XD I don't have one warning for this though.**

**Warning: Swearing! (I've been listening to Eminem. You'll be able to tell. XD) And you'll see a line that's from one of his songs. I don't own that.**

**Thank you to everybody who's reviewed this!**

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><p>I assume that it's the next day since I woke with the annoying sun shining in my face. Again I get the feeling that I've felt something like this! Why? Why me? Why..this? I sat up with an annoyed groan. I had a little dream about that strange mystery person. It's not really the first time either. When I was in the hospital before, I had a dream about this person.<p>

" Another dream about him." I'm not even sure it's a guy. I'm just going to go with it since I really hate mornings. I bet your just wondering what my dream is, right? Even if your not, I'll tell you. Well, I was sitting in my room, staring in excitement at my phone. Like I was waiting for something. I'm not sure why I'm staring at my phone like that, but somehow I feel like it has something to do with the mystery person. My happiness was beginning to run out as two hours passed with me still staring at the black and white devise. "_Looks like he's not going to call or text._" I hummed to myself, poking the phone tiredly. Maybe that's where I got _him_ from? My stomach was churning in sadness and unease. I wanted it to go away, to just disappear. I swung my legs over the edge, sighing as I did so. A tap at my window sent my heart into a race. My happiness came back and my feet acted without me telling them to. The clear window was thrown open in seconds. "_I thought you'd forgot! Never scare me like that! You know how much you mean to me!_" I laughed in a happy voice. That's where my memory ends, without even showing this guys face. Who is it? I felt so giddy when they came to my window. Why? 'You know how much you mean to me'? How much _did_ they mean to me?

"Ah, Roxas, your awake now." Cloud said closing the door to the room. I was still sitting up in my white, plain, _cheap_, hospital bed. My mind was working harder then I wanted it to at this hour of the morning. The blond doctor..nurse..what ever his role is here, sat at the end of my bed, staring out the window. " Beautiful sun, right? I love the reds and oranges. And the yellows in it too. What do you think Roxas?" Reds? Oranges? Sun? Why do that feel like that's something I've heard before?

" You want to know what came to mind right now?" I asked, getting Cloud's full attention right away. " The words, ' Hey Roxas? Bet you don't know why the sun sets red. Well..' and that's where the sentence stops." Cloud was jotting that down from later looking at. " And I do like sun rises and sun sets. But, when can I get out of here?" Cloud looked up from the clip board, giving me a sympathetic look.

"Well, we would like for you to get more rest but-"

" I can leave. Good, I'll get dressed into my clothes then and I'll see ya around Cloud! I'm bound to be in here again with the way my luck's been looking." I called behind me, ignoring the little 'but' and mumbles I heard the blond say behind me. That might have been rude, but, I'm to tired to care.

0-0-0-0

"He..he just.._left_! I hope that I don't get in trouble for this. He's going to be a hand full for sure." The blond _nurse_, and yes, guys are nurses too, muttered to himself as he shuffled out of the door, his true bored, and non-caring attitude shining through. Or maybe it simply was a bit to early for the blond nurse. Who can tell?

0-0-0-0

" Okay, what the fuck happened? You just flew out of there and Demyx panicked, running after you. What. The. FREAKING. Hell?" Xigbar growled as soon as my mom was out of ear shot for him. I was still in the corner since Zexion had Demyx draped over him back where everyone else was standing. I'm surprised that my room can hold us all, or that they all survived entering my abused room.

" I'll tell you, just come to me, I don't really feel like moving." Everyone filled in around me, like I was about to tell the best scary story of all time. Their faces also told me they were itching to here what I was going to tell them. A deep breath was the only thing I did to prepare myself to spill my deepest, darkest secrets and thoughts. Joy, oh joy. " Well, I-I was dating Roxas, you know, the blond that was always at my side before? And it was great. He was perfect in every way possible. He might be a little quick in the temper, but so am I. But besides the anger, he was very loveable. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. The only problem was his parents. They _hated_ gays to an extent that it was unhealthy. They also hated me too, but tried not to show it. They caught me and Roxas going at it and chewed him out and he got pissed. He smashed his _favorite_ picture of him and his parents and left his phone behind. He cleaned out his room and left. His parents also cleaned everything out of the house, and booked it, selling the house. I don't know what the hell was going through his mind that he wouldn't get his ass straight to my house. He knows that we wouldn't care. And..I..I miss him so much, It hurts. I-I don't know what to do." I was beginning to break down again, but held it in. There, now it's all out on the table. What they want to do with it is their choice.

"Roxas, eh? I feel like I've heard that name that name somewhere...Oh yeah! Someone was talking about him a couple days before. They said he was in the hospital. Not sure why but-"

" Which hospital!" I cut in, grabbing Xigbar by the shoulders, looking intently into his eyes. I must look very desperate right now. I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks right now! This is the first I've heard of Roxas since he went missing that day.

" Um..the one by the center of town? Isn't that the only one here?" Oh, right...I forgot about that. Finally I'll get to see Roxas! My feet started up without me having to tell them to. People yelled after me as I shot out of the room and flew down the stairs and out the door in a rush. I heard my mom call me to, but I can't worry about that now. Roxas..my love..Roxas! I'll finally get to see you again! Happy tears, over flowed my eyes. I can't believe I'll get to see him!

I reached the hospital in no time, bursting through the doors, causing quite the scene. The lady at the desk had a concerned look in her eyes as I walked up to the desk, slamming my hands on it. My breath was still not complete, but I got out my question.

" Could you tell me if you have a patient named Roxas Strife?" I asked, hinting that I wanted my answer quickly. She typed away at her computer, making my insides flip with excitement. Her eyes turned to me, not a good look in them.

" I'm sorry, you just missed him by a couple of days. Left as soon as he woke up. I'm sorry." He..he's not..here. I was happy for nothing. I'm back to square one. Pulling all my niceness that's left in me, I managed to give the lady a smile.

" Thank you." And I turned on my heel, letting the smile drop and a frown take over. My hands went to my hair, roughly pulling on it. " DAMMIT!" I yelled before opening the door with a shove. I FUCKING blew it! God damn! Fucking bullshit! The door slammed loudly behind me and I turned, giving the brick wall a good punch, doing more damage to my hand then the wall. This time my tears weren't happy tears. That was my only chance to see Roxas, and I fucking blew it! " FUCKING SHIT!" I felt the blood from my hand drip down my arm, I didn't really care as I rested my head on the brick. I'm on my knees in front of a hospital. How nice. A chorus of people yelling my name came up behind me. Here come the reinforcements.

" Axel! Are you okay babe? Oh my god, look at your arm!" My mom came to hug me from behind. I feel so pissed and sad and scared all at the same time! I don't know what to choose.

" Axel you left again! What's up with up you?" Xigbar asked making my choice in emotions for me. Pissed.

" Shut up! Fuck you! Find a white crayon and color a fucking zebra! You motherfucker! You fucking lied you fucker! Dick head! BASTARD!" I was seeing red, insulting the scarred male left and right. If my mom wasn't still hugging me, I would have jumped at him. But I could still glare at him from the corner of my eyes. He took a step back, a scared look on his face.

" Dude, okay okay, I didn't mean to. I didn't know!" His hands were up in submission.

" Hahaha! Of course you didn't fucking know! Because your a fucking dick head! I can't believe you! Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fucking shit! I hate you! I hate you! I really fucking hate your slimy guts! I'm gonna rip out your fucking intestines and hang you from the fucking ceiling! Use you as a fucking pinata!" More and more obscenities as I went. Damn, I don't mean to yell at him, but I just feel so fucking mad and confused! I let my hand go back and punch the wall again, causing more blood to run down my arm. I felt the pain from hitting the wall full force. But that was nothing compared to the pain in my heart right now. Tears were trying to escape down my face.

" Axel! Don't do that! Your going to hurt yourself!" My mom plead, grabbing my wrist, getting her out hand covered in my blood. Damn, that was a hard wall.

" I don't care! Let it fucking bleed!" I felt a tear slide down my face. Damn, Roxas is really taking his toll on me. And I don't even know where he is!

" Um..would you like some help?" The lady from the front desk was standing there, looking at me in pity. My mom, forced me to stand up and nodded politely to the woman.

" We would like that." I mumbled at that. She gave me a dirty look, saying ' shut your fucking mouth before I turn mad. So quit your bitching and let them help you!' it's amazing how much I can get from a look.

" If you just wait here, I'll go get a nurse to get a first aid kit." My mom thanked the woman as she pushed me into a seat, sitting next to me, throwing her arm across my shoulders, twisting a piece of my hair that was close to her hand. My bloody hand was dripping red onto the pure white tile below. The rest of the gang came and sat around us, most sitting on the floor, besides Demyx who sat next to my mom, snuggling into her side, looking like a kicked puppy.

As we all were waiting in the packed waiting room, a lady kept staring at me, irking me to no end. Finally I snapped.

" What the fuck are you looking at?" My mom reacted right away, slapping her hand on my forehead, pushing my head into her side.

" I'm sorry, he is a little upset right now." He tried to clean up my mess. With a growl, I jerked away from her reach. She didn't even flinch. Using her now free arm, my mom wrapped her arms around Demyx, now giving him a hug. A pang of jealously went through me. She's _my_ mom! Before I could do anything about the matter, the nurse came in with a first aid kit in hand.

" Well, I can guess which one is Axel!" She giggled, walking right to me. I didn't laugh or smile at this lady. She's annoying me. With her blonde hair and blue eyes that can't even hold a candle to Roxas'. I almost yanked my hand away as soon as it ended up in her hand, but my mom's death grip on my other arm stopped me. I hissed as the rough fibers of the wash cloth rubbed in the scraps and gashes in my knuckle. After the pain of the water, searing pain of the antibiotics, shot from my hand to every part of me. Is this lady trying to kill me? It all was better when she finished putting the gauze on my hand, weaving it through my fingers and around my whole hand. I hate this lady, for reasons unknown to me. She just makes me mad. She stood, just standing there like she was waiting for something.

" You can leave." I dead panned glaring into her dinky blue eyes. She looked extremely uncomfortable.

" Axel! Why don't you say 'thank you'?" My mom hissed, starting to have enough of my sour mood.

" Thanks." I hissed, glaring hard. She gave me a 'your welcome' and high tailed out of here. Bitch. I flexed my hand, hissing when it sting terribly.

" Came on boys, you can come with me and Axel back to the house." I can tell that she's not very happy with me right now. But she's nice enough to get mad at me at home. We all filed out of there. Leaving a confused waiting room in our wake.

On the way back, my mom was glaring at me from the corner of her eyes. My pride was crumbling into nothing.

" I'm sorry mom. I didn't mean to be so rude. Please don't be mad." She let the tension out of her shoulders and slumped a little.

" Oh, I'm not mad. You had right to be a little grouchy, this thing is hurting you and I'm just sorry that there's nothing that I can do to help. I want my baby to be happy, that's my duty. But I'm not doing a very good job huh?" I could hear her start tearing up as she talked. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to cheer her up.

" Your doing just perfect as a single mom. Just know I love you no matter what." She smiled up at me, leaning her head on me. I heard Demyx 'aw' ing in the back. All of a sudden Demyx cut in our hug, giving us all a bear hug together.

" Group hug!" Luxord shouted, running to throw himself into the hug. Soon everybody was squeezed in the hug. My mom was laughing her head off, not minding that she's being squished. My friends are all dorks.

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><p><strong>AN Group hug! XD Poor sad Axel. I don't want him sad! DX Roxas is very confused. Who is this 'mystery person'? I'm sure that you guys already know. Review for me! I like to hear your thoughts!**


	7. Drunken mess

**A/N This is a little late, but, it's here! Please review.**

**Warning: Implied drinking, violence, and an angry Axel along with a upset author! **

**You've been warned...**

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><p>I must have ran out of tears somewhere along the point when I entered his room and when I found myself buried under my blankets the next day. I did this to Roxas. I'm a horrible person. I belong far under the earth. I've ruined his life. I can't seem to get any of that out of my head, no matter how hard I try. Its almost as if it's embedded in there.<p>

As most mornings are with my family, it was quiet. Like no one dared to break the calm unless really necessary. I don't mind that at all. It gives me plenty of time to think. How exactly do I plan on going with Roxas? I should just tell him that I know things he doesn't, but, the selfish part of me wants to keep quiet and act like I know as much as him. I-I don't know! I'll give it a little bit, _then_, tell him. So he gets to know me and possibly won't even want to go to the redhead. Yeah, I like that! If only he'd remember the time we spent as kids.

The door slamming downstairs broke my thoughts. There is only one person who would come today. And that person is Roxas. At that thought, my heart leaped out of my chest and I made a run for my door. I gotta know Roxas is okay! My footfalls were loud and I flew down the stairs, looking up and seeing Roxas talking to my parents. My lips turned into a smile as I pounced on the blond.

"Roxas! I'm so glad your okay!" I whispered, tightening my grip on him. I love the laugh that he has. It makes my day brighter at just the mire thought of it.

" I was only gone for like a day Namine." He pointed out with a small laugh. My face turned into a serious one for a minute as I looked into his eyes.

" I was scared that you wouldn't...never mind. Your here now, and that's all that matters to me. Come, I'll show you your room." I grabbed a hold of his wrist, leading him towards the stairs. I think my heart beat was audible to everyone in the room. It was pounding away in my head. " Here it is." I stood next to the brown door, watching as Roxas got a look of approval.

" Looks nice." He entered, shocked to find everything put away and in it's place. "Did you.." His mouth opened and closed like a fish, ready to speak, but no words come out. Giving him a smile, I nodded.

" Yup, I put away your stuff so you wouldn't have to do it when you came back." Shutting the door behind me, I crossed the room, sitting on the bed and patting the spot next to me. Roxas got of the shock of not having to do anything, and took his seat next to me, waiting for me to say something. I felt my palms grow sweaty, despite me attempting to pat them dry on my dress. " I..know something that you forgot," I began, not sure where to go with it. His raised eyebrows told me to continue on. " We knew each other as kids. We were even best friends! But, after you had to leave town, you seemed to forget all about me. And I just wanted to see if you remembered me at all."

"Um, I'm..not..sure. I don't think that you seem familiar. But we can get to know each other in the years to come! How about that?" I tried my hardest to make my face not seem as glum as I felt. Somehow I just knew that he didn't remember me in the least. Maybe it's a sign from the great powers above to just deal with dying alone and heartbroken. To suck it up since I didn't even have a chance in the first place. His fate was already set the Axel. Not some blonde chick that feels like loving someone she has no business loving. Why must the world be so cruel?

" Yeah. That sounds..great!" Shoot. Why did I even hope?

" Do you..by any chance..remember anything else?" He spoke hopefully, surprising me. Should I?

" Not that I recall..no." Terrible. I'm a terrible, terrible person! I don't deserve someone like him.

" That's okay. Do you remember me hanging out with someone? I keep thinking of one person and I can't seem to place a face to them. Or a name for that matter. Or gender. In fact, all I know is, that it was a person." His chest-fallen look quickly bounced into a hopeful one again. Dang. I got to lie again. I'm not good with lying! I'm terrible at blatantly lying to a person when I know the truth. This is going to eat me from the inside out!

" No. I just saw you once in a while with a big group of people. I can't really pick out faces." Ah! More lies! The humanity! Sometimes I wish I hadn't gotten the short end of the stick when it came to lying. His chest-fallen look creeped back onto his face, once again making me feel like such a bad person.

" That's okay...let's go see what your parents are doing. I'm sure they want to ask me a few questions too." He stood, holding his hand out to me, smiling a forced smile. Blushing, I took the hand and followed him down to the living room. Why do I feel like this is so one-sided? Does he even really think of me as anything more then a girl that was sitting next to his hospital bed when he woke up? I highly doubt it.

0-0-0-0

As we entered the house, I felt the need to go and lie down for a while and dwell on the fact that I'm a failure. While running I could hear Demyx say my name. No doubt getting ready to follow me. But he was stopped short by my mother.

" Let him be alone for a while. He'll be just fine." She reassured my blond friend, leaving me to rush to my room. By some reason that will be unknown to me, I was able to still cry. I dived for my bed, soaking the sheets with my tears again in what had felt like not too long ago. And it wasn't really. I just cried on my bed, what, two nights ago? So it hasn't been long since I've been like this. And at this rate, I'll run out of tears to cry for 2 years!

0-0-0-0

The group of teens-and one mother- sat around the living room, waiting for their red haired friend to crawl out of his room and let them comfort him. They wanted nothing more then to drag him out and surround him and make him feel loved. But Mrs. Kay was against that idea. Why would a mom want to let her son cry in his room? And, yes, they can hear his strangled cries drift down the stairs. The pain of the cries was going to kill the group if they don't do something about it this instant!

" I hope he's okay. Why doesn't he let us help him? Can't he just stop being stubborn and come for help?" Demyx whined feeling helpless to help his new friend through this hard time for him. Kay gave him a understanding look.

" It's not that simple for him. He's always wanted to do things on his own from the time he was born. If someone wants to help him, he'll just lock himself up tighter and grow farther away from you. Amazingly he's good at helping himself." Her words did nothing to calm the hyper blond.

Everybody jumped when the front door burst open. Kay and the group of teens watched the hall that lead to the room they were presently sitting in with a sharp intensity. You could hear a pin drop. Being the one to move first, Kay calmly walked into the hall, frowning at who she saw in the door way.

" What are you doing here? Drunk no less!" She questioned the smashed redhead that smirked at her. Could you guess who this tall, quite hansom, man was? His red locks were pulled into a long pony tail that went down his back. His cheeks were flushed from the booze running though his system, causing the markings on his cheek bones to stand out even more. If you guessed Reno, Axel's father, you'd be correct!

" Is it a crime to just -hic- see me so..n..yo?" Reno got too close for Kay to still be comfortable. He reeked of liquor and made Kay scrunch up her nose in distaste. _I went out with __**this**__ guy before? Boy was I not thinking!_ Kay thought sourly.

" Actually, yes, it is. So if you would kindly get your drunken ass out of my home, that would be nice." Trying to be nice to the boozed up man and make it easy to understand that she didn't want him anywhere near Axel in the state he's was in, she phrased her words politely. Reno laughed at her, leaning into her space so his alcohol scented breath blew over her face.

" Still polite as ever Kay. But I'll tell -hic- ya what, I don' care what the c..court has ta say! He' me son too." His sneer reminded Kay a lot of Axel's. It amazed the blonde at just how much Axel took after his dad. _I just pray to God that Axel never makes the choices that Reno does! Please let my son stay smart!_ Reno pushed past Kay and stumbled into the living room, ignoring the teens and proceeding to the room Axel was now sitting in. Let's hope that no one gets hurt..

0-0-0-0

Wouldn't you know that my pa comes in, smashed as always. I couldn't help the anger churning in my gut at his drunk presence.

" What up son! Oh, what's this, did someone get into a fight? Didn't your mother ever teach you that violence is never the answer? Well, mine didn't!" His cocky attitude and confidant laugh is already getting on my nerves. While he was laughing, I spotted the beer bottle in his left hand. He's a lefty so he could use that as a weapon if he pleased too.

" Shut up."

" Is that any way to talk to your own father? And what's a pussy like you doing going around and pickn' fights for anyways yo?" Both my hands were balled into fists as I grew more pissed. Why does he have to tick me off every time I see him?

" I'm the pussy? Look who's talking Mr. I'm-gonna-mooch-off-my-girlfriend-while-she's-pregnant-and-get-drunk-off-my-ass!" My insault didn't have the effect I wanted. He smirked at me instead of getting pissed off like I wanted.

" I don't even think you were in a fight. If your so sure that your not a pussy, then prove that you got balls. What about that like blond boy, Roxas was it? With a guy like you, I wouldn't be surprised if he leaves you for someone who knows how to be a man." At that I hit my breaking point and bolted up, grabbing Reno by the collar and punching him square in the face, sending him falling backwards right into my desk. Unfortunately I hit him with my right hand, the same on I used to punch the wall. Blood soaked through the white bandages and dripped onto my carpet.

" Axel! What happened?" I looked over and saw my mom standing in the door way. Following her maternal instinct, she ran to me first, looking over my wounds. Reno's groaning stopped her work and she moved to him, picking him off the floor, wrapping one of him arms over her shoulders. " I can't leave you two alone for a second, can I?"

Following her down the stairs, I watched as she set him down on the couch, running to grab a ice pack.

" Did you hit him dude?" Xigbar asked, looking at me in awe.

" He pissed me off at the wrong time. He even had the nerve to mention...never mind." Why does my life enjoy throwing me curve balls that it knows I can't hit?

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><p><strong>AN Was it good? Sorry to all Reno lovers (including me!), I love Reno, but, I _had_ to! Review and I'll give you a cookie for your worries! DX**


	8. Bus ride

**A/N this is VERY short! I'm sorry for that! I wanted to wet your appetite so you are hungry for more! XD But I didn't want everything to be on this one page, so I shortened it a lot. **

**Warning: BIG time skip! And slight sadness. **

**Enjoy!**

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><p>When Reno finally came to from being so out of it, he returned to his normal cockiness. But it was better without him being drunk. It turns out that I gave him a good bruise on the side of his face. Nice and swollen too. I just wish that I hadn't hit him with my bad hand. Now it has new bandages that are soaked with my blood.<p>

" At least you got a good arm!" Reno complimented while smiling. Even when you sock the guy in the eye, he still smiles and makes a joke. Am I really related to this weirdo? Reno continued smiling at me, laughing a little. Yeah, I'm sad to say that I am.

" You okay now dude?" Xigbar questioned, hesitating a bit. I don't blame him on that one. I've been acting bipolar all day and break out in sadness and rage. See what _his_ absence does to me!

" Yeah, I'm okay now." I smiled down at him, showing that I really wasn't lying. You could see the tension leave his shoulders.

" Good! I didn't want to end up like that guy! That would ruin my week for sure!" At least Xigbar can make me smile now. Will things ever go back to normal?

0-5 years later-0

" Happy Birthday man!" The blond haired man said, looking years younger then he really was. The person he was addressing didn't look as happy as the other. He was sitting on the couch, looking sadly out at the setting sun, thinking that this birthday was anything _but_ happy. The couple sitting on the couch looked at each other, shock and sympathy over taking their features. Suddenly, the blond of the two knew exactly why the man was acting depressed. " It's about _him_ isn't it?" He questioned, sighing when he got a head nod in response. " Ya got to get over that! Move on Axel! Date someone, doing something but wallow in sadness!"

" You think it's that easy? You think I _want_ to cry myself to sleep every night? To think of him every other day and have my week be depressing after? To walk around with a hole in my heart? To be reminded that I _don't _ have anyone to love everyday? I can't just 'move on'! I just can't. And before you go around preaching about moving on, thing about how you would feel if Zexion just up and left? Wouldn't you be sad and upset for a long time after? Wouldn't you feel empty? Would you want to date someone else that couldn't _dream_ of comparing to you love for Zexion?" The redheaded male pointed out, making the blond look over to his one true love. He knew that Axel was absolutely right about that. He should have taken Axel feelings into thought.

" I'm sorry Ax. I shouldn't have said anything." The fire that he saw in Axel's eyes the first time he met the male, has long since died out. A cold and lonely pile of ash left in it's wake. Now every time he looks at the redhead, he sees so much sadness and despair. You could tell from just _looking_ at Axel that his heart was broken.

" 5 years Demyx. It's been 5 _years_ since I've heard anything about Roxas. He's probably long gone by now. I'll never get to see his smiling face again."

" Oh, Axel. Don't say that..."

" 5 Birthdays. 5 anniversaries celebrated by myself. 5 years since I kissed him good night. 5, pain filled, years. Do you think that he even thinks of me?" Axel turned to look at his blond friend, dejection smothering his eyes in a fog. Demyx's heart lurched in heart ache.

" I'm sure he's just as sad as you are." He walked over to Axel, letting him put his head on his shoulder as he sat. The blond's phone rang, making him have to leave Axel. Zexion listened to the blond's happy 'really?' 's and 'great!' 's. Demyx came back with a bright smile on his face. " Axel!" Demyx looked over to said male, but he was sleeping.

" What is it?" His boyfriend asked.

" Something wonderful."

0-0-0-0

" Axel! Wake up! I got to tell you something!" I groggily sat up, looking over to the clock on the wall that read 10:00 AM. At least it's not an unreasonable time like usual.

" Wait is it Demyx?"

" We found where Roxas is! This one guy was looking though a phone book and saw the name Roxas Strife! He's in the town just about a day away. He's living in a gorgeous white house." I was fully awake at that. Roxas? I jumped off the couch and high tailed it out of there, making my way down the street. I'll get to see him again! I know I can't walk the distance from here to a town a day away, but, i have change in my pocket, I'll walk to a bus and drop myself off somewhere.

I reached the bus stop in no time, catching the bus right in time. I dropped my change in the little dish thing and took a seat in the back. I couldn't have been any happier. I'll get to see him after 5 years!

0-0-0-0

The bus jerked forward, shaking me out of my slumber. I think my heart was about to burst out of my chest.

" Thank you sir!" I said as I left the bus. I noticed that I had a text from Demyx, it told me the address of Roxas' house. I pray that he doesn't get upset with me.

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><p><strong>AN Gahhh! To short! Please review! :3**


	9. A tricky reunion

**A/N OMG! Finally I get this chap out! I planed on getting this out _yesterday_! You hear me? Yesterday! DX I fail! But, hey, it's out! :3 Oooh, we get to see the reunion! X3 Whatever will happen? I know, but you don't! You'll just have to read on to know! **

**I was watching the movie Mulan 2 and I liked a line from the dad. So I put it in. You know the one. " When the heart becomes over filled with joy, some may leak out the eyes." When I heard that I was like, ' Woo! That was an awesome line! I love it!'. So, naturally, I put it in my work. X3 I hope that you guys like this chap!  
><strong>

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><p>A couple hours after Axel left, Zexy thought it would be a good idea to go to Kay's. Ya know, Axel's ma? She always been so nice to us. We knocked on the door, expecting the bubbly blonde to come prancing to the door and let us in. But she didn't come to the door.<p>

" Miss. Kay?" I asked, knocking again, just in case she didn't hear us.

" Come in...it's open." She strangled voice came from the other side of the door. Me and Zexy looked at each other, silently asking the same question, ' What's wrong?'. We went in, not finding the blonde in the living room. We heard a sound coming from the kitchen, following it, we saw Kay leaning over the sink, vomiting into it.

" Kay? Are you okay?" I asked, walking over and patting her back. She smiled at me once she got over throwing up.

" Yeah, just a little sick is all." Bowing her head in the sink, she laughed a little.

" Your _so_ lucky Ax isn't here! He would be all over this, babying you to no end!" I stated, watching as she laughed again. Glad that she's all smiles and giggles, even though she's puking her guts out. I told her what I found out. She puked before giving me a look of disbelief.

" No shit? Oh, I bet Axel is overjoyed to hear that! He's been all blue balls since Roxas went away. He better bring him back so I can give him all that love I've missed out on giving my baby's boyfriend for the past five years!" She had to go back to the sink right away after finishing her speech. I went back to patting her back. Axel should be getting there in...ten-ish more hours. What to do for that time?

0-0-0-0

" Got any two's?" I asked the blonde, who was, once again, at the sink.

" No, go fish honey." She said, splashing water over her warm face. We've been playing cards for...five hours. Got five more hours to kill. " How about we take a nap? I know I want one. If you want to keep playing, I'll be in my room." Kay announced, crawling upstairs. I glanced over to Zexy, smiling.

" How about we doing something else too." I suggested, throwing my cards behind me. Zexion smiled back, knowing what I was getting at. With a good, push, I lunged at him, pushing him to the ground. I stared at his smirking face, and you gotta give me props for not attacking him, after all, he looked _very_ seductive with his slate colored hair fanned out around him and his eyes gleaming with mischief. I couldn't help myself any longer and meshed my lips with his. Yeah, this will do. I can see this taking up a lot of that five hours.

0-0-0-0

I hopped out of the bus, looking at the unfamiliar town. I guess it would have been better to ask _where_ Roxas lived before going off on my own. But, that's what phones are for, I guess. A couple of button presses later, I had the phone ringing.

" Hey Dem, it's me, Axel." I heard shifting and hushed noises, and angry whispers till Demyx's voice greeted me.

" Hiya Axel! How's the town?" Oh, he's not getting off that easy. I know what happened.

" New and big. Demyx, you guys better not have been screwing in my apartment, or I'll find a way to strangle you through the phone." Jackasses...screwing in my apartment. I thought Zexion would control Demyx!

" We weren't! Just making out is all! And we're nowhere near your apartment. We're at your ma's! Speaking of your mom, she's been puking her guts out." My mouth dropped and I stopped walking.

" SHE'S SICK? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW SOONER?" Demyx yelped, no doubt holding the phone away.

" Hey, calm down Ax, your on speaker."

" Good, I hope she can hear me!" Demyx said something I couldn't hear, making me ever more upset.

" She's right here, if you wanna talk to her?" People on the streets were looking at me funny. What's their problem? Bastards! Continue on your walk, nothing to see here!

" Yeah I wanna talk to her! Mom, are you okay? You want me to come back and help you? Cause I can jump back on the bu-"

" Axel, I think I'm old enough to take care of myself. I'm forty two years old for Pete's sake! So don't try coming back before you even meet up with Roxas. You've been in a state of depression of the last five years! Stay there. I swear I'll be fine." She cut me off, hurting my feelings when she sounded like she didn't need me. Of course I knew that it was true. She _is_ a grown woman. And _I'm_ a grown man who should be out living his life, not worrying over his mom.

" Fine, drink water, but not too fast! And Dem, could you give me some directions to his house, so I'm not just wondering in a town I've never been in." Over the line, you could hear Demyx swear, moving around, probably looking for the directions.

" Ah...here we go! It's on 13th and heartless Avenue. On the corner of Dusk street. It's a big white house, can't miss it! And, word to the wise Ax, you might not wanna get too excited to see him, since he hasn't had something up there for five years now." At Demyx's statement, I felt my cheeks flush and heat up, making the people looking at me turn in disgust.

" Whatever. 13th Heartless, corner of Dusk. White house, got it. See ya guys later, and hopefully with Roxy." I shut my phone, walking down the empty street. Wow, this sure it a primp and proper town. Every body all dressed up and nice. Even the _plants_ look better kept the I'm sure I look right now! I looked at my shoes, which were worn and dirty, the sidewalk beneath me looked as if it had been polished. I wouldn't be surprised if the _dirt_ is clean here! How on earth did Roxas make it in a place like this? I mean, he's a run away kid that had a spat with his parents because of his sexuality. How much dough can you expect to get? Now I get why people were looking at me as if I was in the middle of streaking at a church sermon. My stomach rumbled when I was in a big crowd of people, and they all heard it since it's dead quiet here. With disgusted noises, they moved away from me. I'm sure my face was on fire. I guess it's time for lunch.

I found a vender on the street that was selling hotdogs, so I bought two. Hey, don't judge me! I'm starving! I haven't eaten in forever. Gulping down my second hotdog, I looked at the street signs. Right now I'm on 1st and oblivion. They sure do name their streets weird. Back home we have streets like Struggle Avenue. But that's just cause it's near where people like to play struggle. I better get walking if I want to see Roxas.

Finally, after what seemed like a _long_ time in this chilly air, I reached 13th and heartless. As I walked down the street, I had houses surrounding me. They were really nice houses too! Geez, who did Roxas suck up to to get in a house like these? At the very end of the street, there was a big white house, the only white house on the whole block. I could feel my heart pounding wildly in my chest. My whole body was in a state of excitement. I felt like I could explode of happiness! My huge smile stayed on my face as I stood at the door. My stomach was doing flips, and seemed uneasy. I knocked on the door in front of me, trying my best to not seem like some sort of creeper that just shows up at your door. After all, it has been five years and I'm just suddenly at his door. I would be freaked out if I was him. The feeling in my stomach didn't go away, but stayed there, like a rock trying to weigh me down. It made me feel like throwing up. My heart jumped at the door opening, slowly coming open.

There, right in front of me was Roxas. _My_ Roxas. The one I've been looking for for about five years now. I was so happy, I could've cried right then. But I held back. I don't want to make anything seem weirder then it already is. Roxas didn't look any different from the last time I saw him, besides a little age showing in his face, but other wise he looked the same. My eyes prickled with warning tears. I, once again, held back from crying. I once heard that 'when the heart becomes over filled with joy, some may spill out from the eyes.'. Totally fits how I'm feeling. Roxas' eyes were huge.

" Hey." I greeted, watching a confused expression come over his face.

" Um...hi?" Silence stretched on, not good silence. The kind of silence that you would get from a funeral when someone unwanted comes in. Roxas spoke again. " Ah.. do I...know..you?" He asked, looking at me strangely.

" Ha ha! I know it's been a while, but, come on! Ya gotta remember me!" I joked, expecting Roxas to laugh too. He just stood there, an uncomfortable look over his face.

" Hey Roxas, who's at the do-" A voice called from behind Roxas. I leaned my head to the side, feeling my heart drop to my stomach when I locked eyes with some blonde chick. No...no no no no NO! This wasn't supposed to happen! He-he wasn't meant to be with somebody! My throat clamped shut and my stomach was churning, wanting nothing more then to make me throw up. My nose tingled, like it does before I start crying. My palms got sweaty, and my fight or flight kicked in. He-he... moved..on. He..left me. The girl came next to _my_ Roxas and looked up at him in a way I didn't like. " Is he a friend of yours?"

" Yeah. I knew him in high school and thought it'd be nice to see him again. I haven't seen him in over five years. One of my buddies told me that they saw you, so I thought it'd be good to catch up." I put on my best poker face and made something up. My chest feels so empty. Chancing a glance at Roxas, I felt my heart crumble even more. " But, you don't really look like you remember me. You..don't..do you?" Please say you do Roxas! Please!

" No...I don't." I felt my lip quiver, I want to get away from this place and find somewhere to just let it all out. The blonde stepped forward, grabbing my arm and giving it a tug.

" Why don't we all go and talk." She was all smiles. Putting on a fake smile, I followed her into the living room, sitting across from the couple. Is it possible to die of a broken heart? If it is, then I guess I would have been dead many times now. I wish that I could just melt into nothing and get away from this couple. " How'd you meet Roxas?"

" Well, friend's I guess. They introduced me to him."

" Oh, that's nice!"

" Yeah...I guess." No. It's not nice.

" Well, why did you get out of touch with Roxas?" That's a good question.

" I..don't know. He just up and left. I'm not sure why. Could either of you tell me?" The girl looked a little beaten, but picked herself up, smiling.

" He was in a car accident and hurt his head. So I offered to have him stay with me. But we couldn't reach his parents. So he had to move with us." I think my eyes were about to fall out of my head. _That's_ what happened? I felt even worse. I can just imagine Roxas trying to get to my house and being hit by a car. My tears never left. I need out... NOW! " Oh, we didn't ask your name!"

" It's Axel. I'm sorry but, I just got to make a quick call." I stood as Roxas hissed, holding his head in pain. The girl came to his side, patting his back.

" Another headache."

" Yeah." I left the room. I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold in my tears for much longer. As soon ans the door closed behind me, I ran. I don't know where anything in this town is, but I remember seeing a park on the way here. Sure enough, a park came into view. Collapsing on the bench, I let the tears flow from me. Every choking sob seemed much worse then before I knew my love...or..who I _thought_ was my love..already had someone else. And on top of that, he doesn't even _remember_ me! My gut twisted and turned. I wish that I would have listened to it. Would've saved a lot of heartbreak. It feels like there is a hole where my heart should be. I pulled out my cell, punching in a number that I have memorized.

" Hey Ax! What's up? Had a nice reunion with Roxas~?" I let out another choking cry. " Axel? What's wrong?"

" Dem...he-he...he's...with another person! He doesn't remember me at all! I feel like utter shit. This was the only thing keeping me on my feet! And now some blonde bitch comes and knocks it out from under me! I..I don't know what to do Demyx! I can't stay here! I...I need help Dem..."

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><p><strong>AN I'm not sure if it was on here, FF, or on deviantART, but one of my reviewers said, ' I swear if Roxas is with Namine, I'll be pissed.'. ^^'' Sorry. It's not my fault that you are a good guesser! DX Please don't hurt me! You need me to finish the story! And the rest of the fans of this will be mad too! I hate the pairing RoxasxNamine, but, I need it for my story. If Roxas wasn't with Nam, then the story would be pretty boring. ' He finds Roxas, makes Roxas love him again, bing bam boom, they live happily ever after.' BORING! Bare with me. Review please!**


	10. Bitch slaps and icecream

**A/N This is short and kinda late. But I hope that people still like it anyways!**

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><p>Axel's wouldn't stop crying, and it was starting to make me want to cry myself. I had Ax on speaker again, so his mom heard loud and clear when she walked in the kitchen.<p>

" Axel! What's wrong babe? What happened with Roxas? You did find him, right?" She grabbed the phone from my hands, holding it like it was really him in front of her.

" H-He has someone else. A blonde bitch. I don't know her name...mom..I want to come home. R-Roxas doesn't even r-re-meber me at all. What's the point anymore?" Axel's broken voice came again. Geez Ax, your really gonna make me cry if you keep that up! Kay, gave the phone a sad look, rubbing the back of it with her finger.

" Oh, my poor baby. Please don't cry. If you cry your gonna make _me_ cry! Now wipe them tears and put on a smile." Axel laughed from the other end of the phone, sniffing at the same time. Kay smiled at the phone, happy to hear Axel's laugh.

" I love you mom, but what should I do? I can't go back..I just can't. But I don't want to leave Roxas now that I've finally found him. The down side is, I know he'll never love me again...I-I..help me.." Axel's voice was still sad despite the laugh.

" Remind him. Remind him of everything you both shared. There's no way he could have completely forgotten all that! Trust me Axel, You'll hate yourself for not trying." The other side of the line was quiet, Kay didn't seem to mind, but continued to give the phone a serious look. Why must she act like the phone is Axel?

" ..Okay. I'll try. For you and myself. I gotta go back, love you mom, don't forget."

" Never would." Kay gave one last smile to the phone before hanging it up and handing it back to me. Well, at least she's done puking.

0-0-0-0

How do I plan on reminding Roxas of anything? I can't just walk up to him and say ' Hey, Roxas, whether you remember or not, we were lovers and spent every waking moment with each other! Kiss me?'. Yeah, I think I would be scared and call the cops if someone said that to me. God! This is hopeless! Returning to the street I was on, my stomach began flipping again. At least when I knocked this time, I didn't feel like I was going to explode. The girl that Roxas is with opened the door, smiling at me.

" Roxas is in bed. We can still talk though. I'll make some food." Without having a chance to object, I was yanked into the large kitchen of the house. What is this girl's problem? How could Roxas _ever_ love a weird girl like this? And, wait a minute! How do you go straight from a bump on the head?

" Um. I don't think-" She turned, a different smile on her face, which scared the shit outta me! Her eyes had tears welling up in them, not matching the deadly smile at all.

" So you came. I guess it really wasn't meant to be. I knew it wasn't meant to be from the get-go anyways!" Great, I'm alone with some wacky chick that stole my love.

" What are you talking about?" She looked at me with her teary eyes.

" You love him don't you. No need to lie." I was taken aback by that question. How'd she know? It's not like I said it aloud! She sounded like she was totally okay with asking me that kind of question.

" I-I-"

" I thought so. It's good that you came I guess. I would have told him sooner or later. We never got off the friendship level. In fact, we probably married just for the sake of marrying. I could never compare up to you in his mind."

" What are you talking about he doesn't even remem-"

" He does. Whether he knows it or not. He remembers you. Maybe not clearly right now, but with a little reminding, he will. And I'll help you do it." What is she talking about? He doesn't remember me! What is she talking about with any of this?

" Help me what?"

" Win him back. I know that I'm married to him,but, we both know that we don't love each other like that. We've never even kissed outside of the church where we got married. We've never done anything but sleep in the bedroom. We don't snuggle, or anything remotely romantic. Unless you call hugging once in a while 'romantic'. And I could see you both had so much more." Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up! How could she know that we had more?

" You mean, you knew? This whole time you knew that he was with me?" My anger bubbled up. I stared at her from the other end of the small table.

" Yes. I was selfish in taking him away from you like that."

" Forgive me but.." I smacked her good across the face, watching as her cheek turned pink. She didn't look ready to cry, more like ready to take it. I've never hit a girl, and never want to again. I couldn't help myself.

" No, I needed that. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you." My hands balled into fists.

" You want to know what I had to go though? All the years I spent crying my eyes out, feeling empty, in a hurtful state of depression, when you had my love all that time? You want to know how much that hurt?" She looked as if I had poisoned her when I finished raising my tone.

" Sorry." She whispered as Roxas made his way in the kitchen, yawning. My whole body tensed at the blond's arrival, my back going rim rod straight. Yeah, laugh now. Straight. Wait, who am I talking to? " You made it just in time! I was about to start dinner." The blonde turned grabbing things out of the cabinets, no doubt trying to hide the red mark that my hand left on her face.

Me and Roxas didn't even meet eyes. We both were looking at the table top. Wow, can you say romance! I got to say something.

" Um...you didn't tell me your name Mrs..." I spoke up, looking at the blonde I just slapped. I slapped her without even knowing her name...what kind of guy am I?

" Oh, it's Namine." She came to the table, plates of food in her hands, her cheek looked a lot less pink now.

" Nice to meet you." I whispered, picking at my food, taking a small nibble here and there. I've never really had much of an appetite after Roxas left. And I don't now either. I felt two separate stares on me. Looking up I found I was being watched by the couple.

" Is that all your going to eat?" Namine asked genially, picking up the plates at the table. Handing her the plate with a small nod.

" Yeah, I wasn't terribly hungry." Giving her a smile, she walked over to the sink, placing the dishes in it before walking to the fridge.

" You guys want icecream? We have vanilla and sea-sal-"

" Sea-salt!" Me and Roxas said in unison, giving each other a look of disbelief.

" Hey, great minds _do_ think alike!" I joked watching Roxas smile a little. Yes, I missed that smile! He continued to look at me as we got our icecream. Should I try something? Yeah, why not! " Race to see who can eat the fastest?" I proposed, holding my spoon out a little in a gesture that I was ready when he is. His smile widened and, for the first time since I saw him today, his eyes twinkled.

" Your on!" He got down closer to the icecream, smirking wickedly. My heart slammed against my rib cage, overly happy with this.

" Um..guys? I don't think-" I cut Namine off with my count down.

" 3,2,...1...GO!" Me and Roxas dug in, devouring our icecream with lighting speed. I hope he knows that I'm the master of not getting brain freezes while eating icecream. Oh well, his fault.

I was up first, burping a little, satisfied with my clean bowl. Roxas wasn't too far behind me. His blue eyes met mine and he pouted.

" Man, I lost! You...you cheated!" I gave him a look, telling him that I thought that was stupid and he knows it was stupid too.

" How could you cheat in an icecream eating contest?" His face heated a little, and his eyes refused to met mine.

" I don't know...but you cheated somehow!" He pointed an accusing finger at me, smiling all the while. We both laughed at that.

" Face defeat Roxy! I've won fair and square!" Either he didn't hear me or chose to ignore in, but he didn't say anything about my nickname for him. The small smile stayed on his face. Maybe I do have a chance with him after all!

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><p><strong>AN Yeah Axel and his bitch slap! XD Please review for me!**


	11. More problems

**A/N I'm sure you've gotten used to my lateness by now. **

**Please review.  
><strong>

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><p>The kitchen was filled with peaceful silence of full belly's. Namine was doing dishes and Roxas was leaning back in his chair, eyes closed and hands behind his head. I feel like this should be how it is, just me and Roxas, but it would be better if Namine hadn't been there. My reality crashes down on me again for about the millionth time today. He's married and doesn't remember me one bit. No matter how many times Namine says that he remembers, that won't change the whole fact that he's married. Standing, I stretched and said that I should be going.<p>

" Oh no! You can stay in the guest room! It doesn't matter to me." Namine offered with a wave of the hand. She's starting to tick me off again.

" No, I don't want to impose." My eyes slowly glanced at Roxas, trying to see his reaction. The blonde came over and playfully smacked my arm.

" Nonsense! You won't impose on us." I didn't get to see Roxas' reaction, he had excused himself and went upstairs. I gave Namine a look as the door upstairs closed.

" Your pretty confidant. Even though he doesn't look like he remembers me." Namine frowned, gripping the dish rag in her hands hard. The room filled with silence.

" Axel, do you remember when you and him had an icecream eating contest a minute ago? Well, I've never seen him more happy. Even on our wedding day. Then he looked like he'd rather jump out the nearest window. But when he looked at you, and that wonderful twinkle in his eye, it just never happened with us. But you, you special to him, and he knows it. So don't you _dare_ give up!" I stopped looking her in the eye somewhere alone her little speech. I knew that was true, but I'm just too thickheaded to admit it. My heart is just to fractured to want to heal that quickly. And without another word, I headed to the guest room, which wasn't hard to find.

Why don't I ever learn my lesson? He must not have been meant for me if he never came back. But I never really let go of him. I guess that's why it hurts so much. I'll give her a week. A week of staying here, and if he doesn't remember...I...I'll just let him go. It wouldn't make a difference that way.

The room was bigger then my room in my apartment, but was smaller then the master. I didn't bring anything, so all I had to do was lay down.

I don't know for how long, but I just stared at Roxas' old phone. The one I never totally stopped texting or calling, even though I knew I had it and I would never reach Roxas. I even kept paying for it., just so I could continue my weird obsession. I smiled at the wallpaper of the phone, a picture of me and Roxas kissing sweetly. What I would give to do that right now. Roxas had always known how to cheer me up. It never failed. Heck, all he had to do was walk into the room and I would be happy! A single tear slid down my face. Funny, I didn't think I could still cry.

A knock made me jump into the air. Quickly wiping my eyes, I turned to see Roxas sticking his head into the room.

" Sorry to bother you Axel, but I thought you might want some pajamas. I know we're not the same size, but they'll work." My heart stopped when he called me by name. Sure he probably knew it from earlier, but it still made me happy. I tucked away his phone and sat up, watching him place the clothing on the other side of the bed. He gave me a smile before walking out of the room. I went right to the clothes, picking them up and giving them a hug. Yeah, I know, weird. But if I can't hug the real thing, I'll settle for hugging his clothes.

Like he said, they were a bit tight when I put them on, more so the pants then the shirt. I felt like getting a glass of water, since I'm going to bed. As I past the master bedroom, which had it's door cracked, I saw Namine snuggling up to Roxas, getting real cozy. So much for helping me. On instinct, I ran back to my room, water being the last thing on my mind. I stumbled into my room,winding up on the floor. I felt that gut churning depression welling up again. I've heard of people that get rid of their pain by cutting themselves. My eyes wondered to my left and saw the guest bathroom. I stood and shakily walked over.

I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't even think of this. But I opened the medicine cabinet, finding a razor right in front of me. No! Don't do it! I don't need to do this! My hand reached out, taking the razor in hand. NO! Drawing in a shaky breath, I turned the blade side ways so it wouldn't rip off my skin. Closing my eyes I quickly slid the blade over my palm, biting my lip to stop from screaming in pain. Bad idea! Why did I do that? Luckily I didn't cut deep enough to cut a vein, but I did still cut myself. God, paper cuts have nothing on this! Why on earth would this make you feel better?

I made a bandage out of cotton balls, the ace bandage like cloth that's sticky on one side, and a lot of Neosporin. I can't believe that I was stupid enough to even try that. Sure I know that I'm sad, hell it feels like I have nothing better to life for, but I shouldn't go around attempting to cut myself to ease the pain. With that I fell into bed, hugging the black and white phone tight, falling into a bothered sleep that really was just closing my eyes. Yet another sleepless night...yay.

0-0-0-0

Call me a worry wort but I couldn't stop thinking about the call from Axel. He didn't sound good at all and I don't want him to be hurt worse. Sure Axel's mom is worried, but not as much as me. Zexion didn't leave me during the night to go home, so that helped, but now that I'm able to think, I couldn't help but pace.

" Demyx, will you please sit down. It's hard to eat when you keep going right in front of me. Not to mention your creating a draft. I'm sure Axel's fine. He's a grown man and knows how to handle himself." Zexion snapped when I walked in his leg space for about the millionth time in the past hour. How can he be calm when Axel could be out on the streets, calling for our comfort, but just getting rats in place of us! He could be dieing from the cold for all we know! I even left him twelve voice messages right when I woke up.

" No he's not okay! He's out there somewhere, waiting to be molested by a dirty hobo because Roxas forgot him and is with a blonde hag! And he lost his phone and can't call me!" I was shaking my boyfriend, screaming at him. Zexion grabbed my hands, giving me a look.

" Where do you come up with this stuff? He's fine. He probably stayed the night and is just fine." Zexion spoke softly, like he always does when he's trying to calm me, and he had his hands on either side of my face.

" but Zexion he-" I didn't get to finish since Zexion placed his mouth over mine. Shutting me up in the best way.

" Stop worrying. Now sit down and eat. We'll go visit him if it makes you feel better. Just wait till he has a chance to wake up." He always knows how to comfort me. That's one thing I love about my Zexy. He's nice and sweet and is so smart. He does things that I can't understand. It confuses me a lot. But he just knows what to do. I wonder how? Can he like read minds or something? That would be so cool! I bet he can too, since Zexy's just that awesome.

Kay walked in still looking dead to the world.

" Mornin' Kay!" She grunted in response, reminding me of Axel, who can't even speak till he's had food and something with caffeine in it. The blonde woman went straight to the kitchen, grabbing something out of the fridge and plopping down on the couch. She had a pop in her hand, sipping it with about as much excitement as road kill on a highway.

" Food..." She grabbed a piece of bacon off of my plate, eating it quickly.

" Hey! That's my food! Get your own bacon!" Kay fell back, sighing.

" Well, if you would like to come, we might go see Axel once he wakes up. Would you like to join us?" Zexion asked, finishing up his pancakes and bacon. Kay looked _alive_ at the mention of her kid.

" Sure, I'd love to see how he's doing." She stood up, snatching Zexion's plate from him.

0-0-0-0

I was the first one up, sitting in the dim light of the first rays of dawn. It's funny to think how different I pictured my first morning after meeting Roxas again. I thought I would be hugging him, telling him how much I missed him, how everyday sucked without him there. But instead I'm sitting alone at a kitchen table. I'm a pathetic person.

" Wow, you up early!" Namine came into the kitchen, ruining my set rise watching. Hey, I can hold a grudge on her if I please to!

" Yeah. I like the sun in the morning. Sorry if I woke you." Not. She made her way to the fridge pulling out some milk.

" You want to some?"

" No, but if you have pop or something with caffeine, that'd be nice." Now I love set rises, but I'm no morning person. The blonde handed me a Dr. Pepper, which I took without a 'thank you'. She didn't seem to mind though. I turned on my phone, seeing as I had nothing better to do. As soon as it came to life, it was buzzing like hell! Twelve freaking messages from that brain-dead moron Demyx! Doesn't he know anything about waiting for a little bit? Not everyone wakes up at the crack of dawn like him! Or is happy about it like him!

I dialed his number, knowing he's probably close to loosing his mind right now. Demyx never has been one for patience.

" Hey Dem. What's up?"

" Oh my gosh! Where have you been? I was calling you and calling you and you didn't answer! How could you do that to me! I was worried sick thinking that they did something to you and you have the nerve to not pick up the phone!" I can feel the headache coming on.

" Demyx, I was sleeping. And you know that I hate it when you call so early in the morning. Now just shut up and tell me why you were calling."

" Well, I just wanted to see how my favorite redhead was doing today. And to tell you that me, Zexy, and your mom are going to come and see you."

" Your what? Demyx, you idiot! I don't want you here!"

" Zexy said it was okay! We would just see you and wouldn't stay there or anything! I'm sorry for loving my friend!" He always has to pull that card. The 'I love you and your not being nice' card. I guess it'd be okay, not like I really care anyways.

" Fine, see you sometime." I ended the call, tired and in need of more pop. Namine walked over, looking at my bandage.

" What happened? You didn't have that on before, did you?" I jerked my hand back as she went to touch it. I can't let them know what happened.

" Nothing you need to worry about." I blame my own stupidity.

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><p><strong>AN I love Axel so much that it's hard to believe that he would do that! DX I want everything to be okay!**


	12. Damn hotels

**A/N God...I really hate this FU-FRICKEN writer's block! It really starts getting to me! I sit there, staring at my screen, not doing a thing! DAMN! Well, I got to thank my Good Mood Food! XD It helped to be full while writing this short junk! :3 I hope it's not too crappy. Sorry -_-**

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><p>I gave Zexion a thumbs up, telling him that Axel said yes and is awake now. He didn't sound too happy about it though. But what Zexy doesn't know won't hurt him!<p>

0-0-0-0

Roxas walked into the kitchen as Namine was giving me a weird look. I can't let them find out. I can't. If they find out, then I would be put in the looney bin. I didn't mean to cut myself, I just wanted this pain to go away. It's not my fault that I can't hold on to the people I love! My eyes prickled with tears that I knew were about to start falling. Why am I such a wimp?

" I-...I gotta go!" Running as fast as I could, I got out of there. I don't want to spend another day in that house. Not with Roxas in there...I'll lose it. Why do bad things always happen to me? First my dad is a drunk and left my mom to take care of me on her own. Then I got picked on in school for being gay so many times that I lost count (Nobody wanted to hang around me because they said they 'would get aids'). After that, my mom had trouble keeping food on the table for us because Reno was behind on his money that he owed her. Then the whole ' meeting Roxas and falling in love, then loosing him' thing. Of course there's Roxas being married to a blonde bitch and doesn't remember diddly-squat about me. What else could go wrong?

I didn't have anywhere else to go, so I headed for the hotel that I saw on my way here. When I finally reached it, they looked at me funny, since I didn't have any bags, and the fact that I was in my...er...Roxas' pajamas. Maybe I should have changed before running out of the house...?

0-0-0-0

I woke up laying on Zexy's shoulder, who was also knocked out. How long have we been out? Moving my head slightly, I glanced out the early morning sky. Wow, time flies when your sleeping on your- surprisingly comfy- boyfriend.

Zexion's peaceful sleeping face caught my attention. He looks so cute when he's sleeping I could just die! I rubbed my hand on his soft cheek, melting at the soft little noise he made. He's just like a newborn kitten! All soft and cuddly and cute as a button! I like it when he's asleep like this, since he doesn't look all kitten-like when he's awake. If he smiled more, it would be better, but Zexion doesn't like to smile like I do.

" D...demyx? What are you doing?" He was up, but not fully awake, so his face still looked kitten-like.

" Thinking about how cute you are." I ran my fingers over his lips, watching as he tried to frown at me, but since he was so tired, he couldn't.

" I'm not cute."

" But you are Zexy! Your face is all soft and nice and _cute~_!" I wrapped my arms around him, snuggling into his side.

" I'm not cute..." I came out of his side to smirk up at him. He had turned his face away from me, blushing slightly. Sitting up straight, I turned his head to face me, staring into his aqua eyes.

" Being cute is a good thing." I wasn't ready when Zexion leaned forward, ceasing my lips. It wasn't long, unfortunately, but it was still a kiss.

The bus lurched forward, our staring cut short. I guess that we're here. Standing up I did a good stretch that made my bones crack, then went to the seat right next to ours, shaking Kay to life.

" Kay, we're here! Time to go see Axel!"

" It's too early, we're going to go find a hotel first and give him time to wake up." Zexion put in, yawning and stretching the tiniest stretch I've ever seen, his arms not even going above his chest. I didn't argue, but pulled Kay so she was standing and quickly caught up to Zexion. Giving the the bus driver one last wave, we all headed to a hotel. Great, more waiting.

0-0-0-0

I didn't get a wink of sleep, not that I would have anyways, but this time I didn't even bother to close my eyes. Instead, I looked at the ceiling the whole night. So when the sun peeked up, I wasn't too happy about it. Sure I got to look at the sun rise, but I didn't want to still be up when it happened. I even made it up before Demyx started texting and calling my phone like crazy.

" What is it Dem?" I picked up after letting it ring the first time. I wanted to shake off the sleep before I answered.

" Wow, your up?" His cheerful voice came on the other end, not showing any signs that he was tired. I don't think I've seen Demyx unhappy in the morning...

" Didn't fall asleep." I bet he's going to go mother hen on me.

" You WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP? Bedtime is for sleeping Ax! " See, what did I tell you. God, what if he sees my cut? Oh, I'll never hear the end of it, not to mention he'll try to take away any freedom I have.

"Yeah yeah, just tell me what you wanted to tell me." Just get off the phone quickly and it'll save time.

" We're here and want to know if your still at Roxas'." I cringed at his name. Why did he have to say his name? I think I'm going to crumble into nothing if I hear that again.

" No, I'm at a hotel. The one called 'Hotel Oblivion'." I need to get off the phone! Now!

" That's the one we're going to stay at too! What room are you staying in?" God...I'm doomed..

" 813." Why cruel world? Why? Why me?

" Great! We'll see you there!" And with that, I hung up. The realization of my mom and Demyx finding my cut became all too real. Damn it! I'm so stupid! I should have lied and told him I was in a different hotel. Or maybe I should have just _listened_ to my head and not cut myself in the first place!

I paced my room for what felt like hours. I'm sure it wasn't _that_ long, but still. My heart came out my throat when I heard a knock on the door. My pulse was racing and I felt the sweat drip down my forehead. I must have looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Taking a big gulp of spit, I tried calming myself before taking a step to the door. Putting one foot in front of the other, I, slowly, made my way to the door. Lifting my, very sweaty hand, I shakily turned the door knob.

Here we go...

**A/N Terrible! So damn short! . Please review!**


	13. Bad news?

**A/N _Well, this is PAINFULLY short. I'm TERRIBLY sorry for being gone so lone, and sorry again for bringing so news with me. I...may...be ending this unfinished. I've just been so uninspired with this and don't really want to finish it. I know how I want it to end, so you may ask me how it ends and I will let you know! Then you can use your own imagination to finish it. I'm kinda reaching out to you guys right now, because if enough people ask me too, I may get inspired to pull together and try to make a decent ending for you guys. But, once again, so sorry! TT^TT I really don't want to leave you guys here, but I just can't... I've gotten interested in another fandom and kinda used all my creativity on it by the time I remembered this one. So, please let me know if you want me to finish, or give you the ending. Forgive me!_**

_**Try your best to enjoy this terrible, short, cliff. V.V**_

**AHHH! IGNORE ALL OF THAT ^ I _AM_ GOING TO BE CONTINUING THIS! IT MAY TAKE SOME TIME TO GET CHAPS OUT, BUT I'M CONTINUING THIS!**

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><p>I was strangled to death once I opened the door. Leave it to my mom and my friends to almost kill me once they see me.<p>

" Guys!...I...I ca-n't...bre..ath ..!" I mustered after prying at their arms. Luckily it was just Demyx and my mom, Zexion isn't into that kind of thing.

" You two will kill him before we even get a chance to say hello. So You might want to let up on your grip." Said purple haired man reasoned, sounding more sane then every one in the room. Demyx and my mom let me go and I took a much needed gulp of air.

" Th-thanks Zexion." He nodded in acknowledgement. I felt a stare on me, and when I looked up I found my mom staring intently at me. I think I just died inside. She walked closer and I figured that she must have saw my bandages. Mother's intuition I guess.

" What happened to you Ax babe?!" She grabbed my arm, while I fought against the pain. Demyx gasped and came to look too.

" Did they hurt you Ax?! Did you fall, are you feeling any pain, are you OK?!" He was talking at hyper speed again when he stopped cold. What is it?! His hurt eyes met mine and my heart broke. " You...you didn't...hurt your self...did you Ax...?" Not being able to take his stare anymore, I lowered my head. Sobs forced me to look up. My mom was crying, her shoulders shaking.

" Mom, what's wrong!" I asked as she looked at me with a puffy face.

" It- it's my fault! I-I wasn't there to comfort you and let you know that there are people who love you. I... Let you down. It's my fault you resorted to cutting your self. I couldn't protect my own baby. I- I'm a bad mother..." Holding her close, I beat myself up. She thinks that it's her fault! Why did I have to ever have that thought?!

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><p><strong>AN _This might be a little punch to the gut, but, the fandom I'm getting into is the anime Durarara. It's really good if you have the time to go check it out! But don't let this make you think that I've totally stopped writing for Akuroku! I still really LOVE it and KH! But I'm just outta ideas for this to be honest and Shizaya is an untouched fandom for me! Please try to understand. Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry! I love you though! Please don't hate me ^^''_ **

**IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE ^ XD I love this story and I don't want to see it die. **

**Love your uninspired, outta ideas, scared... author, Deathnotelover12~! **


	14. The Truth Hurts

****A/N AAHHH I'M NOT DEADDD! Ah it feels good to get going on this again! I'm terribly sorry to those of you who really wanted KH stuff for months upon months and got diddly squat! I'm going to do my best to get going on these for you guys. I hope you don't all kill me! And sorry it's short! I promise the next chap will be longer than this :) I'm going to finish this thing for you, don't you worry!****

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><p>0-Recap of what happened before, just encase you don't remember-0<p>

(Last paragraph)

_" It- it's my fault! I-I wasn't there to comfort you and let you know that there are people who love you. I... Let you down. It's my fault you resorted to cutting your self. I couldn't protect my own baby. I- I'm a bad mother..." Holding her close, I beat myself up. She thinks that it's her fault! Why did I have to ever have that thought?!_

Back to the story~! :D

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><p>0-Roxas-0<p>

I paced around the room, ignoring Namine's protests that I sit down, worried beside

myself. Why do I feel so worried and concerned for some guy I've never met in my life?! It's not what I normally consider 'normal', but I can't help this uneasy feeling that's growing inside of me. Why did he run out like that?! It's not like anything strange could have happened to make him want to bolt out of here. Maybe something did...? I don't know! All I know is when I see him I'm going to give him a nice punch in the face for leaving me! Wait..._me_?!

" Roxas, will you please sit down! I'm sure he's fine. He's able to take care of himself. I'm sure

he's just feeling home sick is all. Please! I don't want you to faint on me again." She reached out to me only for me to swat her away coldly.

" I just know something's up, and I...I'm just worried. Why did he run out? What was on his wrist? Why am I so freaking worried?!" I grabbed my hair as I thought of something bad happening to the strange redhead. Something about him is...comforting and I just feel like he's my friend. If he likes sea salt icecream, he can't be all that bad. Namine looked like I just told her I hated her and smacked her in the face. I didn't have long to dwell on that fact since a knock on the door came right then. In a second I flew to the door, ripping it open, ready to yell at the stupid redhead for making me worry.

I stopped when I saw he wasn't alone. Three other people stood around him, making me really confused. If he came here from home, how did these people get here? A better question would be why? Do they know me too? God how many people did I met and forget?! The tall blond one looked ready to burst out in tears, and as I looked a little bit behind Axel, I saw another redhead who was on the verge of tears too. What's with all the crying?

" Sorry for leaving like that Roxas. Some of my friends came to visit and I wanted to go see them so..." Axel gave me a saddened look, making me want to forgive him right away. Though I'm not the most forgiving person in the world so it didn't make me forgive him completely. Namine suddenly appeared over my shoulder, scaring me when she started talking.

" Why hello! It's nice to have more guests. How about you guys help me go shopping? That way I can learn more about you." She didn't give anyone a chance to react when she pulled Axel inside, giving him a look.

0-Axel-0

Namine pulled me inside, whispering to me harshly.

" I'm giving you a chance to be with him alone. Please don't blow it." With that she slammed the door, leaving us alone in the house. Oh she doesn't know how many ways I could mess this up. I didn't dare look at Roxas, instead I stared sadly at the closed door in front of me. There's no way I'm ever going to be able to just tell him I'm his old lover, whether he remembers it or not! That's really weird if you ask me.

My world spun as I was forced to look at the angered blond, whose height difference

made me want to laugh and run for my life at the same time. If I know Roxy, he has the worst temper out there.

" What the hell?! You just run away without an explanation? Do you know how worried you made me! I thought something really bad happened to you!" My heart went into my throat at that. H -He was...worried about me?! I thought that I was just some weird stranger? Why worry about me?

" I'm sorry. It's just that I -" The blond didn't wait for me to even finish my sentence before my

sleeve was pulled up, my makeshift bandage revealed. Roxy didn't listen to my pained hiss as he ran his finger over it, a serious look to his eyes. Wincing, I crumbled under his shocked gaze, expecting the reason to be brought up soon.

" You...did you...You did this while you were here, didn't you? You had to have done it last night then, when I thought you were sleeping. Doing this to yourself...why? You stupid moron! You could have just said something was wrong! I would have listened to you, even if I thought what you were sad about was stupid, I'd sit there all night with you. Tell me next time you feel like tearing up your body." Even when he was insulting me, Roxas had a way to make his voice sweet and calming. I've always loved that about him. He cares about everyone, even if he doesn't want to.

" Okay."

The blond pulled me up the stairs, ranting about how I should have told him once I did it, so he could have patched me up better. I wasn't listening to much more of what he said to me. The only thing I knew was Roxas was holding my hand and talking to me like a person. Before he was kind of ignoring that I was there, but now he sees me here. That stupid cut did have a small positive effect!

Both of us were squeezed into the small bathroom, not able to move without touching the other person in some way. It was uncomfortable for me since my body obviously remembered Roxas' and it took everything in me to _not_have a reaction. Meanwhile Roxas was completely fine, reaching around me and not affected by our closeness. There was a small war going on inside of me at the feeling of having Roxas back, but not being able to even hold him. It's almost painful to have him be _right there _but I can't even kiss my own boyfriend because he bumped his head! I feel like someone's waving a cookie in my face, but rips it away if I try to grab it.

" There, at least now it looks nicer." He mused with a _wonderful _smile that killed me. I looked down and saw that it looked like a cut up wrist, but red from him cleaning it up.

" Thanks Roxy." My heart fluttered as Roxas stared in shock at me, the name Roxy maybe striking a cord with him.

"... Roxy….uh yeah, no problem Axel." My blond shook his head, walking out of the bathroom, leaving me disappointed that he brushed it off. Damn, guess that this is going to be harder than I thought. I basically have to make Roxas fall in love with me, again. I was lucky to get him the first time, let alone when he has no idea who I am and has an icy attitude. Oh and the little fact he's fucking _married_! I'm creating a fidelity for him with his wife. That sounds so weird! But she knew and she wanted to get a chance so I guess I can't blame her. Roxas is pretty wonderful.

Roxas sat down, looking confused and a little frustrated. Biting my lip I decided that I might as well put all my cards in instead of waiting around for something to happen. Taking a steadying breath, I went over to the blond, catching his attention.

" Listen, Roxas, I need to tell you something, but you're not going to believe me. Please don't freak out, okay?" Said blond already gave me a weird look, not sure if he should trust me.

" Uh, sure, I'm listening."

" Well I'm kind of here for a different reason, and Namine knows the reason too. Roxas, remember to not freak out but, I love you and even if you don't remember, you love me too. We were lovers but you hit your head I guess and hit it hard enough that your memories went haywire. If you'd just let me prove it, I bet I'll make you see that I'm not lying so please stop giving me that look." I got out, talking more like Demyx at this point, barely taking any breathes. Roxas' face looked like he didn't know whether to be shocked, weirded out, or upset.

" What…? That's impossible. If you haven't noticed, I'm kind of taken."

" But I had you first! The only reason why I lost you was because your parents hated that you were gay. They only figured it out because we weren't careful. They kicked you out, you didn't come to my house like you should've, you got into an accident because you were pissed and sad. Namine knew you were dating me, but lied to you."

" Namine wouldn't lie to me!" He defended, looking pissed that I'd even _suggest_his beloved little wife would be keeping himself from himself.

" Why don't you ask her when she gets back? I bet you she's going to fess up." I hissed, trying to calm myself down since being angry isn't going to help. " Do you want to see proof?" I asked, pulling out Roxas' phone, showing it to him.

" Is that my phone?"

" Yeah, look familiar?" I asked, seeing a look of recognition come across him, happy that he at least remembers it. I sat down next to him, glad he stayed where he was and didn't move away.

" I don't know why, but yeah. Looks like something I'd get." He mused, curious now that I'm introducing his phone into the picture.

" I actually bought it for you." I explained with a smile at the memory, Roxas having been really happy that I bought him a phone and threw his arms around my neck and giving me excited kisses. " You were pretty happy to get it." I mused with a laugh, putting in his password for about the millionth time. At least his phone has a good purpose now. A picture of me kissing Roxas' cheek, Roxas smiling as he tried hiding his red face popped up right away. I glanced over to see if he was having any reaction to seeing our relationship, noting that he looked surprised and a little embarrassed. " Encase this isn't enough for you, here's a conversation we had." I said, pulling up and old conversation between us, hoping he'd figure out I'm not lying.

_Roxas: Morning Ax_

_Axel: Morning Babe ;)_

_Roxas: You know you aren't very clever, pulling a Romeo like stunt like that. _

_Axel: Well I didn't hear any complaints when you were kissing me like no tomorrow~._

_Roxas: You are so embarrassing!_

_Axel: I can practically see your blush through the text Roxy!_

_Roxas: You're so lucky that I love you or you'd have gotten a knee to the groin a long time ago._

_Axel: I love you too Roxy~ :)_

_Roxas: Meet me at the usual place you big loser :)_

_Axel: Sure thing Rox!_

" Did we...really text this?" Roxas quietly asked, probably not even meaning to say it out loud. My stomach was churning in nervousness, _praying_that Roxas believes me so I don't have to go through him just being there.

" Yeah. And this little video was one of your favorites, secretly, too." I told him, playing a video I had taken on the phone before. It started with me walking over to Roxas laying in my bed, face buried into a pillow.

" _Roxy~, wake up sleepy head." _I hummed, Roxas groaning, pulling up his head to glance at me before he pulled the blanket up to cover his bare chest.

" _Mh, it's too early in the morning Axel."_Roxas grumbled with a light laugh, putting his face back into the pillow. I only laughed, getting a close up of Roxas' face.

" _Aw, you're no fun Roxy! I just wanted a sexy little video of my hot and adorable boyfriend is all. You're always so cuddly after se-"_

" _Finish that sentence and you won't get anymore of it." _He declared, giving me a firm, yet amused look, still laying his head on the pillow. I smiled back at him, pulling the phone away enough to still see us both as I leaned in to give Roxas a kiss, loving his little moan. It only stopped when Roxas put his hand over the phone, ending the video as our kiss had gotten heated.

Once the short video ended, I looked over to Roxas again, wanting to see something, _anything_! I just want my Roxy back. I'd give anything for him to be back in my arms again. Obviously it was hard to just explain that away, so Roxas was just blushing like mad, staring in disbelief at his black and white phone.

" I...I don't even know what to say…" I searched his face for a sign that he believed me, wanting him to trust me, even if his memory isn't what it used to be.

" Say you believe me, that'd be great." I tried, watching as Roxas shook his head, running his hands through his hair.

" Believing you is hard. I've spent so much time married and trusting someone who walks into my house, telling me that we're lovers and shows me texts and videos of our relationship, just isn't….something easy. I mean, I don't even think that I'm gay so how can I trust that we're lovers?"

" By looking at the fact you tried to suck my tongue out of my mouth in the video. How would I have lied about that?" I can't even believe that he'd still deny that! You think he'd trust evidence! Though...he has a point. I'd doubt a random guy, showing me kissing him, and agree that we're lovers.

" Axel, I just, give me some time, please. It's a bit much to handle all at once." My heart was breaking in my chest, hearing Roxas so confused and unsure. I could feel an impulse running through my body, and before I knew what I was doing, I reached out for Roxas. Placing my hands on either side of his face, I pulled him in for a sincere, sad kiss. I could feel him tense up against me, his trembling hand clutching onto my wrists. A small sob caught my attention right before I found myself shoved back, Roxas clutching his hair, sliding off the couch. Upset with myself, I pressed my hands to my face, listening as Roxas sniffled, rubbing at his tears, mumbling quietly to himself.

" I'm sorry Roxas."

" I'm the one who should be sorry, stupid….I'll kick you between the legs if you blame yourself and go for the blade again." My frustrated blond whispered, tucking his legs in closer to him. Not wanting to make things worse, I settled for running a hand through his hair, trying to comfort him some. At least he didn't pull away. That's progress. Five steps back and a half step forward?

Namine and my two sobbing idiots came back, the blond hopefully looking over to me, trying to read my face to tell how it went.

" How'd it go?"

" How do you think it went?" I honestly didn't mean to have so much bite to my words, but I'm guiltily frustrated here. I don't blame Roxas, I blame her. Roxas was still balled up, at least having stifled his heart breaking cries, instead just thinking over what he just learned. Namine gave the hidden Roxas a sympathetic look, biting her lip nervously.

" Tell me the truth." I nearly jumped at Roxas actually speaking up, Namine appearing to not have expected the voice either.

" What truth Roxas?" Said blond lifted his head up, managing to look betrayed and lost at the same time, his striking blue eyes twisting with emotion. It was almost painful to even _glance _at him right now.

" The truth you've lied to me about this whole time, about my past."

" I….I did. I just, I wanted a chance. I was young and desperate and wanted someone to like me for once...I'm so sorry Roxas…. I know saying that isn't going to change anything, but at least give me a chance to make up for what I did. Get back together with Axel. You can't even begin to know how much he loves you Roxas, and he's a great guy. He's searched high and low for you, so please, trust him for me?" My lover's sweet face darkened and I could tell he really wanted to let go and let her get an ear full. Roxas' jaw was visibly clenched, his baby blues turning stormy.

" Sure. I'm sleeping with Axel tonight." He spat out, a bite to his words, which made it hard to get excited that Roxas was going to be sleeping next to me. Before anyone could say anything to him, Roxas rushed into the kitchen without another word. Well that could've gone better….

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><p><strong>AN Once again I am COMPLETELY sorry for being so late! Please comment for me? :) **


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